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 Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)

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ViniVidiVicci

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PostSubject: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Fri Jan 12, 2018 10:51 pm

Been lookin' all over the place fer a spot like this, didn't think I'd find it but I been wrong before. Gotta be one'a these places in every city, every town, every settlement, it just makes fuggen sense, ya hear? Ya get everyone in a town like this ya got people that got problems. Those people're gonna want them problems solved. An' everyone gets the bright idea of what adventurers like me look at fer a livin':

The goddamn bounty board.

Ya gets yer grievance on a piece a paper an' ya just stick it on the board there, some jagoff that likes to stab shit'll be all over it like me here. Best way to get talent. An' if they ain't survive it ya don't gotta pay, win fuggen win I tell ya. Smart motherfucker what come up with that shit. Feels weird bein' on the other side'a things but I'll get over it. Place is bustlin' like a halflin' bar, lotta motherfuckers here. I got good odds'a findin' someone that wanna put swords in monsters, I tell ya. But I got a damn problem. I can't fuggen read. Can't write neither, so I can't use the bounty board but that shit ain't stop me, nosir. Gonna be the town crier fer a bit an' see who's interested in doin' justice or whatever the shit. Hey it ain't pretty but it's the right thing to do, understand?

I climb my green ass on top'a one a those tables they got layin' 'round the place an' I give my job, nice an' loud like.



"OI! Stop playin' with yer dicks an' listen to me fer a goddamn second!"
I turn some heads so I know it's workin'. Gonna get this shit over with in no time.
"Lookin' fer any brave motherfucker what ain't afraid'a goddamn nothin'! I gots a job fer ya! Come pick me out fer the details, gonna go huntin' fer assholes!" I get a lotta dirty looks. Not like I give a shit, I ain't care about most people an' what they think. What I wants is the ones that are gonna come up to me all curious like. Don't need no pussy commoners gettin' in on this shit anyhow, I needs someone that knows a thing're two about puttin' beasts in the damn ground.
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:06 pm

Among the many dagger-filled stares and demands to get off the table and get lost from the crowd, one certain young man caught wind of the crowd's mumblings and peeked his head in to see what the discussion was about. It seemed this shorter green creature that Milton couldn't identify from his info logs was requesting the help of a mercenary of sorts. The creature's odd use of profanity and scattered speaking pattern made determining its message a touch harder, but the message was received nonetheless. He had spent some time down on the surface of Permanence and was looking for more experience to train Phobetor and his weapons after such a long absence from combat. Perhaps the perfect opportunity presented itself...

As Grubby likely scanned the crowd for any eager participants, Milton would shuffle his way to the front of the crowd and get the green man's attention by waving his hand over the heads of the others.

"Excuse me. I heard you were searching for able bodied fighters to aid in your endeavor. I can fulfill said requirements if you would offer a few details."
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:31 pm

"Fuggen candy assed Nancy's all'a ya! If I wanted to shout at a field'a damn pansies I'd keep a damn garden!" I make sure to flip'em the bird 'fore I get down off the table there. Figures I'd get boo'd off the stage, ain't like I'm not a fuggen goblin or nothin'. Fuggen bigots an' dickless cowards all of'em. The fuck kinda guild hall is this? Ya got motherfuckers playin' cards an' carryin' on, ya got a bounty board, not a ball between the hundred I fuggen swear. Whatever, I don't give a shit. Plenty'a bloodthristy motherfuckers what need some coin in the Slums, should'a started there first. I spit on the ground as I eyeball them yellow-bellied freaks when one'a the longshanks comes up to me. Figured it be a longshanks, too. I can say a lot about them breeders but what I can't say is they ain't got guts.

"Yer damn right I is, pinky," I says, "But I ain't takin' just anybody. Ya gotta be a bona fide badass, ya understand? So's 'fore I tells ya what I got I'm gonna ask ya some things." Now I been lookin' fer volunteers but I ain't need no greenhorns gettin' in my way an' gettin' themselves killed. Plenty a blood on these hands already, I ain't lookin' to get'em soaked again. I give the human a stern glare, this ain't no place fer the weak'a spirit. Ain't got time fer shrimp dicks.
"What experience you got killin' monsters an' shit? Cuz that's what we're doin' here pal." Now most people gonna say none to which I'm gonna say fuck you an' have a nice day, but on the off chance I get someone that says Oh yeah, I fuggen ate me a Gibberin' Mouther fer breakfast then I know I'm in business.
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:54 pm

Pinky? Nancy's? This one's accent and vernacular was certainly a test of Milton's language comprehension. At least Milton could be fortunate for having the Babel Field active so that this creature was at least understandable. Seeing the figure's stern gaze upon him, Milton returned with a serious stare as well, sparks of curiosity and focus flashing behind his strangely slate-expression stare. So this one wanted to know his combat experiences with monsters? Well, there was certainly a story to tell for that, but best to keep the mention of a Persona under wraps unless he was somehow aware or looking for the wielder of an Ego like Milton.

"Well, outside of combat training in a small military unit in the blade and a repeater pistol, I've managed to kill a large worm beast with sharp teeth known as an Avatar of the Forest. It was strong enough to topple groves and snap a humanoid's body in half by biting off his torso. Will that satisfy the conditions?"
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:12 am

"Ain't no soldierin' prepare ya fer this shit, boy. This the real deal here, ain't no swords yer gonna have to clash with, ya gotta look at the Devil hisself an' put a knife 'tween his damn peepers." Soldiers is good but they ain't what I'm lookin' fer. Any motherfucker what's bored an' don't make enough pay can pick up a spear an' be a soldier, takes a real man to go up against this kinda shit. I seen combat vets piss their shorts comin' up on a Watcher, that ain't good enough. Don't fuggen need no soldiers. Adventurers is what I need. But the guy said he got some sand in his ass crack, that's good shit. I can use that. This gon' be different but it mean he ain't gonna run like a bitch or do somethin' to get the two'a us killed.

"Ya mean a Grick? Yeah... yeah thems some tough customers... I gots one last question for ya. How many damn arms ya think is too many?" Now I already made up my mind, might as well drag this asshole along fer the ride. If he can handle a Alpha Grick sounds like he can handle this shit. Guy's speakin' my language. I just wanna see what he says about it. I know a good bit of adventurers out there an' not all of'em get to see the really fucked up shit. The Aboleths. The flesh golems. The flumphs. ...say what the fuck you want, them jellyfish motherfuckers creep me the hell out. Make my damn skin crawl. I take my pipe out an' start packin' some tobacco in it but I don't take my eyes off the humie. Figure we're gonna take a walk soon an' I ain't smoked any since I walked in here. Gotta take every opportunity, understand?
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Sat Jan 13, 2018 1:19 pm

"I agree. My training wasn't meant to be a considerable selling point."
This unnamed being seemed very familiar with the way of combat, like a hardened war veteran grumbling to a private. Was this person on Permanence and encountered trouble fighting? Where else could combatable monsters be in the given instance? Well, whatever monsters this grumbling requester was facing, Milton could make short work of them with the help of Phobetor. Perhaps with further training, he and his new Ego could grow strong enough to properly protect themselves.

"I don't recognize this creature you identify as a Grick. Your vernacular is a touch unusual, so understand if I would request further elaboration or a repetition of instructions. As for arms, I would place my experience of too many arms at 8 being the limit. I know a gentlemen from my home world that developed extra limbs due to his experimentation with spiders, so any more than 8 would be an amount that unsettles me due to my inexperience with them. Now then, what types of foes are you facing? Mechanical? Organic? Hybrid?"
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:01 pm

Look at this greenhorn motherfucker, killin' Gricks 'fore he even knows what they're fuggen called. Takes guts to do that, skill an' a 'lil bit a luck. Those things ain't a fuggen joke. Almost got ate by one back in the Underdark, slimy sumbitch wrapped its mouth around my legs but lucky me I had my dagger on me at the time. Cut its damn jaw right off, smell took weeks to fuggen go away, stank like a damn wet dwarf.
"Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk longshanks, yer the one that's talkin' funny. Usin' all them big words an' shit, yer a goddamn soldier, keep it stupid fer the rest'a us," I tells'im. Ain't the first time I seen one'a them smart sword luggers but it's fuggen weird every time. What happened to the good ol' days when all ya had to do to fight a war was lift a buncha logs an' stab some people? Now ya gotta read books too. I tell ya, ain't no place fer the disadvantaged no more.
"C'mon jagoff, gonna walk an' have a smoke while we talk about this shit."

So's we get to walkin', I finish packin' my tobacco into my pipe and strike me a tinder twig. I tell ya, this shit's fuggen candy right here. Cuz it'll rot yer teeth an' it ain't good fer ya, keh heh. But I ain't gonna quit anytime soon, I'm too goddamn old to change. I take a puff an' blow me a ring to float off in the sky.
"*pheeeeew...* ...I ain't know what this thing is but it's got more arms'n the feathers on the ass end of a chicken. Weird doll lookin' arms, faces too, just covered'n fuggen limbs like someone kept chuckin' dollhouses at a goddamn demon an' saw what stuck. But that ain't even the half of it," I says, puckerin' my lips over my pipe again to inhale me some'a that sweet ashy feel good.
"*tzzzzz... pheeeeeew...* ...some motherfucker what climbed outta the fuggen arm orgy there, looked like he was made'a doodads an' shit. My guessin' is chain devil what got rammed headfirst through a pocket watch. Scare-E-est motherfucker you ever did see I tells ya. Ain't up to not a bit a damn good. Got zombies too, ya know what a zombie is? I mean I bet ya do but ya sure as shit ain't know what a Grick is so I gotta check." Now everythin' I'm sayin' meant to scare this greenhorn off cuz like I say, this shit ain't fer the faint a heart. If ya ain't got stones ya shouldn't go bowlin', son. Better to shoo away anyone that ain't got no spine now 'fore I gotta find it for'em in the pile'a bodies I done seen down there.
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PostSubject: Re: Grab Yer Torch An' Pitchforks (Grubby & Milton)   Today at 12:32 am

Milton wanted to raise his finger to correct the recruiting veteran that he wasn't a soldier but found himself unable to get a word in that would likely mean anything to him. Was his choice of words too complicated to understand or did this goblin creature simply prefer instructions and comments that were more direct? Either way, talking with simpler vernacular wouldn't be too terrible when it came to instructions or simple descriptions. With the adjustment in mind, Milton would walk alongside the smoking and cursing rogue, covering his nose and mouth with his scarf so as to not inhale the less than pleasant smoke from his pipe.

"I won't require a nickname such as Longshanks or "Jagooff". My name is Milton. Could I get yours in return, sir rogue?

This description of your foe is rather unusual. I've done some exploring of Permanence but haven't come across any monstrosity that fits this description. So it has a large quantity of arms, doll-like body parts, and a figure made of... doodads? From the description of chains and a pocket watch, I assume you mean he had a large amount of metal attached to him. As for the reference to these 'zombies', I have a rough idea of what you mean. You are referring to corpses that become animated through a variety of mediums, correct? My planet did have zombies caused by necromancers using a source of Stream to infuse bodies with energy, but it's practically a lost art when wartime passes, so they aren't as prevalent an issue.

May I ask where you have been exploring?"
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