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 New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)

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ViniVidiVicci

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PostSubject: New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)   Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:40 pm

Y'know, it's always good to get outta the fuggen Slums. It gets real down in the dumps down in the dumps. Everyone's fuggen hungry and gnawin' on boots 'n shit and the streets smell like piss and half the motherfuckers wanna rob ya and the other half wanna kill ya. Yeah I got it, it might be the safest place to be with what we got goin' on but it's fuggen tragic, lemme tell ya. Makes me just wanna punch a gnome in the fuggen mouth. Well... everything makes me wanna punch a gnome in the fuggen mouth, but this might make it better. Rainbow cookie-makin' motherfuckers probably crashed the market, I don't fuggen know, but shit's bad and ya gotta blame somebody, right? But anyways I'm up in the bazaar, kickin' my feet up and drinkin' in all the shit I ain't usually get. Place actually smells nice fer once, like fresh leather somebody rubbed with apples. People're given' me strange looks though and I don't fuggen blame'em but fuggem, I can be here if I wanna be. Yeah... that might be fuggen important... Okay, so people are givin' me the stink eye there probably cuz I'm swimmin' around in the damn pond.

I gotta say it feels kinda nice. Water's warm and the good kinda warm, not the a hundred people piss in it kinda warm that makes yer skin crawl. Been there, done that, fuck you asshole not doin' it again. So's I'm goin' fer a 'lil swim up here, the fuck is wrong with that? Ain't my fault these prudish sissy giblets ain't wanna get their feet wet. It's a free fuggen market, I can do what I want. 'Sides, ain't too often I get to bathe. ...no. No you shut yer whore mouth, this fuggen counts! I'm countin' it goddamnit! But I ain't up here to turn up smellin' like tulips, I'm here cuz no one else is takin' advantage a the situation. They got a resource right in front of'em and I ain't seen a damn person yet go fer it, lazy jagoffs just don't wanna put the work in. I already got one, figurin' I can go for another, what can I say I'm a hungry old gob. ...whaddya mean what the fuggam I talkin' about? Aright, aright, lemme show ya. Just lemme... get this... fuggen wrigglin' 'lil bastard here... GOTCHA YA FUGGEN SCALY SCUM SUCKIN' COCKTEASE!

I pull myself outta the water feelin' pretty damn high and mighty, got that flounderin' asshole. Grubby one, fish less than that. Stupid piss-drinkin' ass-smellin' bottom feeders ain't never seen me comin'.



"Mmmyeah... yeah that's gonna fry up real good right there..."
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PostSubject: Re: New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)   Tue Dec 12, 2017 12:00 am


"What the hell do you mean "might or might not be poison"?! I almost fed that to my family and guests last night!."

The merchant Lucian was at odds with didn’t bother with a worded reply, simply performing an intricate series of gestures with her multiple arms at his general direction instead. “Don’t make a fool of yourself. I know when I’m being insulted.” The president retorted in a somber tone through metaphorically gritted teeth. “You better reimburse this, or would you rather the police find out the kind of fish you’ve got for sale?” Really, this lady...

“That’s what I thought.” Lucian said as he picked up the VC that was rightfully his from the counter. He was, of course, no stranger to meeting people that he couldn’t stand, but for someone to be so utterly careless that they would come this close to being a death sentence to a customer… It almost made him want to sympathize with the Horsemen’s cause. Almost.

Walking away with a bag around his wrist and his hands in his pockets, the President paced through the streets of the commercial district, keeping an eye out for any stores that sold something that at least even remotely resembled fish. After last night’s cooking endeavor, Lucian had come to find that cooking was actually fairly entertaining. With little else to do in his excessive free time – provided he were unable to investigate the matter of the failed jump further, of course – he’d been motivated to go into the commercial district with a list of ingredients (though with a market as… universal as this the ingredient list was more of an ingredient suggestion guide), spare money and his patience. Despite this, however, his luck had proven to be thin, as for what felt like an hour now he’d been unable to come by any fish that would be safe for him to eat. Was this simply poor luck, or a cosmic statement on the survivability of humans? For now, he took comfort in believing the former.

Eventually, he found himself in an open, circular portion of the marketplace with a pond in the middle. Initially he paid it no special mind, but then he saw the goblin-like creat… goblin-like individual moving around in the pond, having apparently caught a pair of trout with nothing but his hands. Wait a second… trout? So they did have edible fish around these parts! Though… it didn’t look like anyone was selling them, maybe they were just there as decoration (If lady irony would have it, maybe they were inedible to nearly everyone else present, too). Normally he wouldn’t do something this out of the norm, but… he’d already spent generous money on the rest of the ingredients, having been confident that finding fish of all things would be easy. With merchants as difficult as these, he was not about to go through the trouble of reimbursing every last ingredient, and he certainly was not going to let that money go to waste.

Circling the pond unto the opposite side from which the Goblin was fishing in, Lucian sat with his legs crossed at the edge of the pond and stared intensely at the water in front of him, searching for any stray silhouettes or moving shapes. After spotting a particularly large fish swimming about a meter away from the Goblin, Lucian took the chance to put his powers to a more… practical use. Normally he’d have to use the flag to summon him whole, but… just the lance should be fine to summon flagless, right?

Apparently he was right, as after simply willing it into existence, Liber’s lance (concealed under the water to everyone except those extremely close) impaled the large fish and swiftly dragged it over to the edge of the pond where Lucian sat. With a victorious grin, Lucian dismissed Liber...'s lance from existence, held the fish in his hand and stood up, ready to go home… but maybe he should stay a while and see if he could catch an even bigger fish? He stood in contemplation for a few seconds, pondering whether to take his winnings and leave or allow himself to get a little greedy.

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Last edited by Moonie on Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)   Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:28 am

So's I gots two fish and I'm thinkin' I can get more. Why? Fuck you, that's why. But nah really, I already got two a the slippery 'lil fucks. I'm on a fuggen role here, the good times just keep on keepin' on and I'm the one that's gotta make sure they do that. 'Sides, figure I might be nice and get the crew somethin' to eat too. I'd be a fat fuck if I could eat two fish by myself and Alabastor's gotta have three 'fore he quits his bitchin'. Greedy fuggen dwarves, lemme tell ya. Inventors of the all-you-can-eat buffet, called it afternoon snack. ...no, I ain't even fuggen jokin' here, that really happened. So anyway I'm goin' fer three and prolly more a these wrigglin' stank beasts an' I get lucky here. Got us a curious motherfucker right here, come to check out the fuggen drippin' I left behind. So it's right fuggen there and I'm right fuggen here and I'm not gettin' any more fish by makin' doll eyes at the swimmin' piece'a shit. I crouch down, set my other fish down, and I'm gonna fuggen go for that bastard.

I creep up to the water reeeeaaaaal quiet like and squat down on my haunches. I'm just watchin' the damn thing fer a while, need to figure out what way it's gonna take off 'fore I jump at it. I get a good idea, raise up on my fingers and toes and...! Fuggen pond explodes. I shit you fuggen not. BOOM! Splash! Fish is fuggen gone. Now I get fuggen startled and I talk a half jump and end up ass up in the water there. Now I float there for a while, y'know, just takin' a minute to let the what the fuck really sink in. Cuz I saw what fuggen happened, yessir, got eyes like a fuggen barn cat on a coffee enema. Fuggen goddamn motherfuckin' asshole shit baby cock suckin' sonuvabitch sorcerer stole ma goddamn stupid fish.

Strength:
 

I dive down under the water there and start wigglin' like a damn eel. I know, I know, it's fuggen weird but trust me, ya gotta swim like this. It's fuggen quiet not thrashin' in the water and it ain't take a lotta energy. Like crawlin' through a damn lake. Shit works, try it sometime. But I get wigglin' and I get right up on the motherfucker. Goddamn fuggen sorcerers, I know he is one'a them fuggers too. All'a them magical bastards always dress fuggen hoity toity with their tea and crumpets and thinkin' they're better than us poor ol' bastards cuz they don't actually gotta do shit to do shit. I'm out here bustin' my ass wrestlin' fish like a fuggen man does and this motherfucker just wants to mumble some mumbo jumbo and take it right the hell away. Nosir, not happenin'. That's Grubby's fuggen fish right there.

I peek my beady yellow eyes above the water, I ain't think he seen me yet. I came in off to the side and I'm fuggen green, I blend right into the damn pond. But I take a mouth fulla water and I spit it at the motherfucker to get his attention, only then do I start gettin' fuggen obnoxious like I get.
"Hey. Asshole," I says to the damn caviar munchin' soap usin' prick, "That's my fuggen fish ya got there, give it."
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PostSubject: Re: New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)   Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:24 pm

Hmm… now that he took a better look at them, what these fish were making up for in size, they definitely lacked in quality. He wasn’t picky enough (or currently wealthy enough) to return them, but they still looked a little old and worn out for his taste. Eh, they were still a good catch in the end, so Lucian took them home… or at least he would have, had he not been interrupted by the very same gobbling-like individual that had given him the idea to go fishing in the first place. Though now that he got a closer, less blurry look at him… Jesus, he was most Tolkien-looking individual he’d ever laid eyes upon. He really did look like a proper European Medieval Fantasy goblin… and acted like one too… and… smelled like one.

Your fish?” Oh lord, this was gonna be one of those days, wasn’t it? “I’m sorry, but I don’t seem to recall these belonging to you, unless you own the whole pond.” And if that did happen to be the case, maybe he should use it more often. “There’s plenty more fish abound, so why not just go for one of those?”

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PostSubject: Re: New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)   Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:08 pm

This jagoff's really gonna do this, idn'e? Well I tell ya there's a few things a rogue don't do, one of'em's takin' jobs that ain't pay on account a we're respectable businessmen an' we got an image to keep, not to mention that yer respectin' the craft by offerin' jobs to yer local Thieves Guild instead'a hirin' an amateur with a ballpeen hammer an' a death wish what wouldn't know silence if it came back from the store one day an' called'im son. An' the other one's gettin' robbed in broad daylight. Grubby ain't put up with that shit, nosir. This asshole ain't usin' no pretty fuggen words to make off with my damn fish, I had that slippery bastard fair'n fuggen square!

"Hard a hearin' with yer head that far up yer ass?" I growl at'im, pullin' myself on land. I take off my hood to wring the water outta it, I'm more fuggen soaked than a halflin's shorts after starin' down an orcish war charge.
"Yeah that's my fuggen fish, git yer own! Y'already know the whole damn ponds filled with the motherfuckers, why you goin' takin' fish outta an old man's mouth?" Lemme tell ya, I ain't scared a no damn sorcerers even if they ain't take my fish. Ruffles over there's got another thing comin' if he thinks he's gettin' his mitts on what I worked my wrinkly ass off to get. If ya got robes that fuggen nice you ain't need to be takin' shit from the hungry. Or the enterprisin'. I'm tryin'a make a fuggen livin' here.



"I was in fuggen pissin' distance a that there fish an' you fuggen know it, if ya can grab one'a them wrigglin' cocksuckers so easy why ain'tcha? Oughta be fuggen ashamed a yerself is what ya outta be."
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PostSubject: Re: New England-Style Fish Tacos (Grubby & Lucian)   Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:15 pm

Spoke like one too. Now, in this situation there were exactly two things Lucian could do. One: he could take the seemingly endless series of insults this goblin was spewing his way as a reason to start yet another argument (and from the looks of it, possibly even a fight) or two: he could be the bigger man here and look for something else to prepare for dinner; something with easier-to-find ingredients and without a latent chance of giving him and his loved ones food poisoning.

“Here.” Lucian said, extending the fish towards the Goblin. “If you need to make such a fuss about fish, you clearly need them more than I do.” He was still one hundred percent certain he’d caught them fair and square without any sort of foul play, but the last thing he wanted was another conflict about fish. Honestly, at this point fish in general seemed sort of unappetizing.

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