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 The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]

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Jerry the Blob

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PostSubject: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Sun Dec 25, 2016 8:56 pm


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The Sun's First Rays

:: Social Link Topic ::
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Batilde stared out over Sunlake Palms an early morning. The sun hadn't even properly risen yet. It was rather chilly outside, actually, hence why she was wearing a bit more clothes than normal. A thick scarf was wrapped around her neck, which she had bought a few days ago, and she wore a thicker shirt underneath her school uniform just to keep herself warm.

So, why, pray tell, was a french student doing out in sunlake palms this early? Sure, she was on her way to school, but her first class was starting in 3 hours. Actually, the reason why she was here was... to reflect a bit. She never really got the time to truly reflect on what had happened to her that fateful night at the Karaoke bar.

"What's staring at the sunrise gonna do for you? What happened, happened. Get over it. We're stuck together like this for life, whether we like it or not."

Astrape's unpleasant voice echoed throughout Batilde's thoughts. The Persona rarely ever spoke, and the few times it did, nothing pleasant really came out of it's "mouth". But it spoke the truth, if nothing else, as unpleasant as a future with Astrape would be, she just had to tough it out.

"I don't like this more than you do, Batilde."

"..."

Batilde remained silent. There was no point in arguing. But why was she to have these powers? She never wanted them. The more she thought about it, the less it made sense. The demon she understood, sort of, after doing a bit of digging. The Eternal Divide, and all that. But... where did her "other self" fit into the equation? Why her? She never wanted to be a part of this crap. All Batilde had ever wanted was a normal life, but now... even that was robbed from her. She was a rich kid. People dreamt of having a life like hers.


But they didn't understand...

Since childhood, Batilde had been a sheltered child. She never got the normal childhood everyone else had. Money can't buy everything. Money... couldn't buy a proper childhood. From the moment she could walk and speak, she had been raised to become the heir to the oil conglomerate that her father had built over the years... Her brother too, was raised in the same manner.

Batilde didn't have any proper friends, because she was never exposed to an environment where she could build friendships. All she had ever known was... the confines of her home, the maids and butlers. She barely ever saw her parents in person too. So really, was it that great to be a rich kid? Oh heck no. At least not for Batilde. Her brother was much better suited for that kind of parenting, being a strong-willed individual that would carry on his father's legacy. Something he was proud of. But Batilde... she was just jealous. Jealous of the stories she heard from the butlers and maids. Friendships, normal school... people she could be with. People outside of her own closed bubble that her parents had made.

All these thoughts swirled around inside her head.

"What a troubled child..."

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Mon Dec 26, 2016 9:25 pm

Crunch of dirt underfoot drummed out loudly to the background of the strong breeze through the leaves of forlorn trees, the biting chill barely felt by the musician. The city was just waking up now, such a surreal experience from what had happened not that long ago. On the outskirts, the cemetery, everything was silent. Still as the void. She couldn't hear the songs of birds chirping there, couldn't see the movement of people beginning their day as if nothing happened. That moment stayed there, frozen in time, untouched by the world. A separate, private sort of heartache. The entire experience had made her feel... uprooted. Alien. Like she was a specter that hadn't belonged to the world, this existence of unaware, lively people going about their day, oblivious to the tragedy all around them. It was made all the more stranger because she wasn't alone this time. Ritsuko was always used to being on her own, a pathetic, wounded creature keeping far away from the other ones as she could, both in body and in spirit. But she had met a fellow shredded soul that morning. The artist's own heartbreak, her parents... it disconnected her from her past and now she was lost.

Well, not lost, but she no longer knew where she was going, what she was doing... everything changed. She used to be a scuff mark on the earth, an undesirable thing that glaringly didn't belong yet stubbornly persisted. Now she was a scorch. A remnant of something beautiful that had been burnt away, the ghost left behind in the wake of a tragedy. No, maybe not disconnected, but reset. Nothing had ever tied her like that before. It was a fairly violent switch she wasn't prepared for. And here she was, unsure of her place in things or how to handle them, wandering down a waking street. The stark contrast of suburban houses and empty morning roads wasn't exactly welcoming, it only served to point out just how far away from that she was. She could've lived in houses like these, had neighbors and kids to play with... but that was a long time ago and it would never get any better.

Aoide weighed heavily on her shoulder as she trudged down the dirt road in scraping steps, her scratched aviators blocking out the morning shine. She was tired in more ways than one. Physically, emotionally, spiritually... it was so early in the day and yet she felt as if she had experienced a week's worth of exhausting tax. Dull blank eyes looked emptily to the ground in front of her, posture hunched as a cigarette hung out of her mouth, her scraping footsteps carrying her weary body forward. It was a long walk already, and a longer one still to her bus stop. Ritsuko hated the time to reflect. It hurt. Everything hurt. All she wanted to do was go back to her hotel room and drink all day so she wouldn't have to think about anything, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. Maybe she could convince herself to do something else instead.

Heaving a heavy, shuddering sigh she looked upward, out to the street. It was mostly quiet and alone, something she hoped wouldn't change before she reached her destination. Save for a single entity turned away from her, a familiar one sporting a recognizable scarf. Ritz turned her eyes to the ground once more, continuing her trek. She didn't want to speak to her and didn't want to be spoken to, and she hoped she wouldn't notice her. The musician didn't have the energy to put up a confrontational front to shove people away from her, she would likely break down if she did. It was safe inside her little antisocial bubble. She wanted to keep inside it.
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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Tue Dec 27, 2016 2:34 pm

Batilde kept looking at the sunrise for a few minutes, lost in her own thoughts and problems. She knew nothing about her powers. Why she had them in the first place, and what she was supposed to use them for was an utter mystery. If she even intended on using them at all. How was she supposed to explain to her parents about this? Maybe... Maybe it was for the best to just keep quiet about it. Her mother would just send her straight back to France, and as for her father... Well, Batilde had no idea how he'd react, which was the scariest thing about it all. Maybe... just maybe the Maids and butlers would be understanding enough, but they had no real power over her life. She was almost an adult now anyway.

Since she was all alone, it would be quite easy for Batilde to notice someone walking past her. And so she did, being jerked out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps walking past. Instinctively, she looked up at the source of the light noise, only to see a familiar face. That woman from yesterday. She who had a panic-attack in the middle of the store. What was she doing here? Did she live in Sunlake palms...?

Either way, her previous, slightly gloomy thoughts were replaced with fast-paced panic. This was her chance to apologize! Finally! So why was she just standing there, rooted to the ground like some sort of Apathetic moron? Well... As much as she wanted to apologize, a part of her was hesitant. What if she made it even worse? So far, whenever Batilde had reached out to this woman, she was pushed back. Was she defiant like Batilde found herself to be at times? Like a "No, I got this crap on my own, don't help."-Kind of person, or was there another reason why this woman had kept on being so difficult?

"Don't just stand there. She's gonna get away if you don't approach her now."

Astrape was right. It was now or never. She bit her lip lightly, taking one last breath through her nostrils before she approached the woman. "Um... Hi, again... Listen... I'm sorry about yesterday. I really am... It was my fault, and I want to make amends." She of course had the Blouse hidden behind her back, her fingers squeezing it tightly. She was so nervous. She didn't want this to go wrong again! It couldn't go wrong!


...Right?

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Tue Dec 27, 2016 10:01 pm

Again, like always, Ritsuko wouldn't get what she wanted. Her solo march became a duet as quickened footfalls caught up to her and matched her tempo. The hand at her side tightened into a trembling fist, her instincts spinning into full gear to tell her to become hostile at this new approach. Why? Why why why why why why couldn't everyone just leave her alone? Didn't they see she wanted to stay away from them? It was easier this way. It was safe this way. She couldn't get hurt and couldn't hurt anyone else, so why was it that people kept trying to force their way in?! What about her screamed "sociable" to them?! Why the hell did the continue to bother her then, just what the fuck were they out to prove! She hated them for it, hate, HATE, HATED them for their idiotic persistence and stupid positive attitudes! Fuck them! They could all go to hell!

...and she hated those thoughts too. At one time not too long ago she believed just that, that keeping herself segregated from people would protect her so no one could ever destroy her faith in them ever again. Nothing was more painful. A wrathful existence filled with spite was worth it to avoid the icy knife of heartache, of being made aware of just how dumb you were and of how little people saw you. An object, a dog, a tool, it didn't matter, it all played the same song and that song was a bitch to play. She wasn't so sure anymore. They had brought her up to think this way, that hate was the best course of action and anger was the correct response. It frightened her. Ritsuko could no longer tell where the cognitive programming ended and she began and there wasn't much she could do about it. Just another scar on her soul, one more invisible wound she had to live with. She was fed up with all of it. She was frustrated and hurt and afraid and emotionally vulnerable and all she wanted was for it to stop. It took an immense amount of willpower on her end to keep from breaking into tears again, she could already feel the lump forming in her throat.

Ritz stopped. She stopped moving to allow the rich girl to catch up... and she shut down. There wasn't much else she could do.

Her raven hair danced in the breeze with her back to the girl, a trembling form slowing to stillness as she took a slow, purposeful drag from her cigarette. Inhale...
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five...

...exhale. The musician closed her eyes and kept them that way, even behind her reflective mirrors. Initially she'd wanted to rend the girl to shreds, to tear her down to such a foundation that she would never attempt to approach her ever again... but she had no idea if that's what she really wanted or if that's what she was taught to do. Ritsuko knew what she wanted. She wanted to be left alone.
"No. It's not. Nothing was your fault." spoke Ritsuko in dull, empty words. Her tone dragged through the dirt with their weight. Dead weight. Lifeless and lusterless, much like herself. Ordinarily she would've left it at that, but that wasn't really an answer to a question. She knew the wealthy teen wouldn't understand, and games weren't on her list of things to care about at the moment. Maybe if she gave her a clearer response she would leave her be.
"...I have a medical condition. It happens sometimes. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't worry about it."
A medical condition she could do nothing about. Therapy was expensive, drugs more so, and hospitals horrified her. The listless musician was never angry at her for causing her panic attack, she'd learned to live with them. If anything she was upset with herself for having them or with... others... for making her prone to them.

But she had nothing more to say on the subject. No more apologies, no more useless words. None of it helped anyway. Ritz adjusted the guitar to sit higher on her shoulder as she began to take steady steps away from the high schooler and her unwanted reparations
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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:33 am

"...You sure...? Alright. Thanks." Batilde replied with slight hesitation initially, but her voice grew increasingly more comfortable as she kept on speaking. She hadn't done anything wrong. Relief washed over her like an ocean wave. It was like a weight had been removed from her chest and it felt great. Was the shirt behind her back really that necessary...? Hrm... Probably not. But it was still for this woman either way. Batilde couldn't wear it herself, as it wasn't her size. So... maybe she'd find a better opportunity to give it to her? Yeah, that sounded good. So... she sneakily tried to stuff the piece of clothing into her bag behind her back, and probably failed horribly at doing so. If Ritsuko failed to notice, everything went fine, but should she see the shirt, oh boy, was she in for an explanation... "Ah... I see." She replied in a slightly worried tone. But she wasn't going to ask anything about it. Some things were better off left alone, and this was probably one of those, judging by how she had acted earlier.

"I'm Batilde. Batilde Gagnon." Batilde said with a light curtsey in Ritsuko's direction, smiling towards her warmly. "What's your name, madam?"

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Sat Dec 31, 2016 1:29 am

With her back to the rich teen Ritsuko had not seen any of her warm gestures. The shirt, curtsy, none of it, but that mattered little. She could feel the positivity in her voice, the invitation in her words. She'd have none of it. Her cheery mood floated across the breeze to lay over her like a blanket and it was suffocating. The musician even resented it to a degree, how someone could be so carefree while she stewed deep in the layers of the suffering others had driven her to. The scuffing of dirt crunched loudly as she halted her footsteps, turning her head slightly to the polite little child behind her to look at her through the corner of her eye. Her dull auburn eyes peeked out from behind her scratched aviators, sullen and lacking light. Her lids were puffing from mourning the loss of everything she thought she'd known, lamenting what had been taken away from her. She witnessed the gentle beam from her expression and the hand around her guitar strap unconsciously began to clench. Anger bit at the back of her mind, gnawing like a starving beast, begging her to become irate. Why did everyone get to be happy but her...? Why...? Why why why why WHY!? It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all...! It was disgusting... it was disgusting to walk around and look at... all these stupid happy people with their perfect fuckin' lives! She never got a life, why should they have one?! Fuck them! They should all go die!

A scowl tugged at her sorrowful expression, her eyes reflecting brightly with what would soon be further tears. Was she angry? Was she really? Or was it what she'd been told to do, something they taught her to make her a more effective weapon? Ritz was frightened of it. Spite was her rock, it kept her going in the roughest seas Life could throw at her. And it might all be a lie. A false hope, an artificial reason to persevere. It left her conflicted. If they wanted her to keep charging on no matter what maybe it would be better to just kill herself... but that was something she could never take back. She would need to absolutely sure and that scared her too. The head games. There wasn't anything left she could trust anymore, not even herself. Ritsuko refused to allow Life to win out of stubbornness and now she wasn't sure if she was winning or losing by staying alive. What if they'd wanted her to continue, to break everything she touched like she couldn't avoid? The melancholy young woman turned away from her counterpart and a puff from her cowboy killer, beginning to tremble slightly as uncertainty and existential depression washed over her.

"...I'm not anyone important..." she shuddered. Ritz never felt like she was. No one cared about her, it was easier that way. She didn't have anyone to disappoint when she left. People didn't cry when their tools break, no one would shed a tear when she was gone. Good. She didn't care, why should they? It was counterproductive, and her thoughts went out to Renata, but it wasn't something she could control. She was too accustomed to everyone not giving a shit just like she did, and was unsure if she wanted that to continue or not. Either way this was no longer a situation she was indifferent to, it was something she wanted to run from. The musician didn't want to be faced with expressions of happiness, to be mocked with the splendor she could never achieve.Ritz didn't want to start crying again, she didn't want to scream and throw things either. She just wanted everything to stop. Her steps away were with purpose now, posture like a slinking dog. She needed to stay away. People stayed safe that way.
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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Tue Jan 03, 2017 4:28 pm

Batilde's happy disposition changed very quickly the moment she caught a glimpse of Ritsuko's eyes. Dull and empty, reddened and swollen by what Batilde could only assume to be tears. Had she been crying earlier? What had she been doing?

Of course, Batilde only now caught on why she had been acting so distant earlier. What could she really do in this case? Batilde didn't know what was the cause, and while she was more naïve than some, even she had limits. Poking in now, with no knowledge, or asking about it, would only make matters worse. She didn't know Sunlake Palms well enough to make any good estimates as to where Ritsuko had come from, either, so that was not a good option. "Madam... You're just as important as anyone else." Batilde replied slowly, walking up next to Ritsuko, while still keeping a respectful distance away from her elder. "Had you not been important, I wouldn't have asked, yes?"

This was a bit perplexing however. Batilde had never met someone with such a low opinion of themselves that they would just outright say that they didn't matter... Even if it was something as basic as a name. What had caused this woman so much harm? Her spirit seemed completely broken, by the looks of things. Her eyes had been completely devoid of the joyous spark that she had seen in the eyes of her other friends. She looked at Ritsuko with a look of concern. Why did Batilde care about this woman so? Because of last time? Or perhaps... Batilde felt a sense of familiarity within this lady. She had grown up without friends... Only with the maids and her older brother, which really didn't do much for her in the long run. She never had anyone to confide in, and she knew how important that was now that she had some people around her which she could confidently call friends. Had Batilde's life been in a worse family, perhaps she would've been better at communitcating with the delinquent. The two had their similarities, yet they were complete opposites. Batilde was positive, curious and while her upbringing was a far cry from good for a child, she lived a fairly happy life, all things considered. This woman... lacked that, from what she could see. The scratched glasses, her clothes, and even her hair told it's own story. Batilde was slowly picking up the pieces of the puzzle.


Now it was just a matter of figuring out which piece went where...

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:18 pm

A second set of scraping footfalls in the loose dirt signaled the more optimistic girl joining her, yet Ritsuko didn't adjust her gait or look in her direction. She didn't wish to have another conversation like this so soon... or at all. The musician found that even more frightening than the alternative, having people be concerned for her own sake. Disappointing them was something she would certainly do, and it happened every single time anyone dared to show compassion to her. All she could claim to be was a displaced fuck up, a self-destructive sorry excuse for an adult. Worrying about her was an effort in futility when she was marching angrily into the void as she was, something she was aware of. It scared her that people would get caught in the crossfire. Unlike the facade she liked to present Ritsuko wasn't as heartless as she appeared to be, hers was an incredibly fragile one. Opening up to people and being whipped for it, allowing others to actually give a damn about her and letting them down, that hurt much worse than constantly shoving people aside and growling at them to keep their distance. She didn't need to care then, and if she didn't never had to she would never get hurt. It was better to leave the knife in than to rip it out and bleed to death, no matter how much pain it brought her. Ritz was stubborn that way.

It's how she'd stuck with her twisted and tortured course through life for so long, not so much a drive or motivation pushing her than the sheer refusal to lay down and give up. Her existence wasn't a great one but it was all she had. The small and spiteful woman wouldn't let anything further be taken away, she'd drawn that line clear. Even if they had taught her to persevere, to be a weapon, she would use it how she saw fit and turn it against them. Ritsuko stewed in her vile thoughts as the younger girl strode beside her, her eyes shut tight as she attempted to regain control of herself. The guitarist wouldn't want to hate the helpful teenager but it would happen anyway. Things were easier that way, she wouldn't cry, and she didn't know how to do anything else. She breathed a shaking sigh filled with the sadness she tried to let go, attempting to let petulance take over once more.

"Madam... You're just as important as anyone else. Had you not been important, I wouldn't have asked, yes?"

"That's because you don't know me," she growled in an accusatory tone, shooting her a sideways warning glance. Her eyes, previously subdued and sullen, were now filled with a slow-burning hostility.
"You don't know who I am and what I've been through. People aren't worth a damn if they don't matter, you pass hundreds of people in the street every day. Are they important? Do they matter?" Ritsuko halted her strides and turned to face the helpful young lass, glaring through tinted lenses.
"Would you care if any of them died? Heh, they're already doing it. Each and every day thousands of people you don't know or care about die, do you notice? Do you even pay it any mind? I'll answer that- no, of course you don't, because none of them are important. None of them matter to you and that's all there is to it." Even though her words were harsh, her manner of speaking probing and stressing and overwhelming, the outcast's voice remained even. As if it were a fierce lecture rather than an accusation. Ritz held her glare for a second longer before turning her body away to continue walking, paying no mind to whether or not she would be followed.

"No, I'm not important. I don't matter to anyone, no one matters to me."
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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:46 pm

"That is true... but it doesn't have to be that way forever." Batilde said, fidgeting lightly in place, made slightly uncomfortable by Ritsuko's glare. "To me personally? No. They're just like everyone else. But... there are a few who's been reaching out, or at least interacted with me somewhat... I'd hesitate to call it friendship or anything. I just... wanna know more people, y'know? Make friends amongst those that I want in my life."

"N-No, since I don't know them personally..." Well, they mattered to someone else, yes? Not that it was truly pertinent to the situation or topic at all. This woman seemed to have such a low opinion of herself... "Why do you keep saying that? There's always someone out there who keeps you close to their heart. While my parents aren't exactly the best bunch, I still love them, and they love and care for me back.... Don't you have anyone like that?" Her gaze met with Ritsuko's... such a big difference in how they looked at themselves. Batilde, who had no close friends of her own, strived towards getting some of her own. People that she could care about that were outside of her family. This woman seemed to push that away... Had she been hurt in the past? "If you don't have anyone... please... I want to fill that hole for you. It's not easy being alone in the world, this I have experience with myself... I can understand if you don't want some random, french tart to be a friend... I'm just giving you an offer. It's kinda hard to explain why, but..."


"I like you. I want to understand you... how you think, how you feel... The way you've been acting thus far is completely foreign to me. But again... feel free to refuse if you want. I'm not gonna force something on you."

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:23 am

The subtle gale seemed to halt as the pair walked on crunching gravel through the innocent streets. A chilly, pristine morning chirped to life in front of them as they marched, the slumbering people coming alive unaware of the tension in the air that plucked at the two. Ritsuko would halt as well, quivering from a chill beyond the cold. The hand resting on her guitar strap trembled in volatile emotion as she took in the girl's hopes and dreams. Friendship, connections, people that cared for her. It made her feel sick, green with a twisted sense of envy. These were things she couldn't afford, luxuries forever beyond her reach. She was toxic, broken, cursed to break everything she made contact with. That's what she was created to do, kill, destroy, annihilate. Another cross for her to bear with the burdening weight of everything else. Anger, fear, hopelessness... she was a vessel for it all, a Horseman of Pestilence of the spirit. It was necessary for her to exist that way within the scope of things. Through her tortured existence she brought forth strength, both literally and metaphorically. Her sorrow gave her the motivation to persevere through venomous spite, the sadness manifesting in the waves of agony her guitar strummed forth. Happiness had no place in keeping her breathing and moving toward her goal, vengeance was a much better carrot at the end of the stick.

And she wanted part of that. This naive little princess wanted to be her friend. Either because she pitied her or because she didn't know any better, Ritz would have neither. She didn't want or need anyone to be her friend, why couldn't everyone just leave her alone?!
"You're making a mistake..." her voice quaked softly. The musician took one long, last drag from her cigarette before grinding it under the sole of her tennis shoe. The intense feelings rising within in her began to sear upward in a volatile mix of anger, depression, jealousy, and pain as her furious, pained expression met the French lass's hopeful one.
"You haven't been listening to a damn word I said, have you...?!" she shouted in a desperate cry, thrusting an open arm out to towards the path she came from in a violent gesture.
"You think I was being dramatic, you think this is a fucking game?! There's no one! They all live up the fucking road! Everyone else is smart enough to keep their distance,[/i] get with the fucking program!"

The abrasive young lady stepped closer, staring above her scuffed glasses at her taller counterpart. The loathing and pain she felt could be clearly reflected across their wet sheen, the weight of her words wafting in with the odor of nicotine on her breath.
"You wanna know what it's like...? You want to understand...? You need to lose. You need to lose everything that was ever important to you, a-and then you'll still be a step ahead'a me because you had shit to lose in the first place!" Ritsuko's voice became more strained and broken as she continued to speak, the salt from her tears tingling at her lips as she could feel them grace her face. The staples she placed in her heart weren't enough to hold her wound closed, it opened up just as painfully as the first time that morning. She shuffled slightly, cocking an arm back as she prepared to shove her liability to the ground... but found herself quickly unable to do so, the thought of becoming violent toward what she deemed as a threat to her emotional well-being rubbing itself along the front of her skull. Her hand reached up to pull herself by the hair in frustration instead.

Turning her body and taking a few stomping steps away, the turbulent alcoholic would growl loudly through her teeth. Stupid fucking child! Why did she have to rub her nose in it!? Oh, I have parents just like everyone else because my brain is too small to imagine something different, why don't you? Dumbass, fucking, aaaargh!
"*sniff*...you don't have any idea what it's like being alone, y-you don't have a damn clue...! *sniff*" Her arms moved lower to cradle her heaving chest as she began to sob. The memories of what she could have had were fresh and stung with the new ache she had brought within herself. It would hurt, but it reinforced her. She'd become better for it.
"I don't need you, I-I don't even want you...! *hic* Take your damn pity and go fuck yourself with it...! *sniff* ...wuh... why don't you go bitch about it to someone who cares, I fuckin' don't...!" Her heart began to pound constricted in her chest, face turning flush as more tears began to fall. She attempted to take a few staggering steps forward and away from the source of her distress, but Ritz didn't make it far. Sobs leaving her breathless, the pain in her ribcage weighing her down, she would have collapsed to her knees if not for the fence next to her to give her stability.

Fucking people. This never happened when she was by herself. This was all their fault.
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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:29 pm

Batilde only looked at Ritsuko, stunned momentarily as she spoke. What on earth had this poor lady gone through to be like this? This was a woman that really had nothing left to lose aside from her own life, if she could speak like that. What did she need to do...? Was it perhaps better to just leave her alone for now? "...You think I'm doing this out of pity...? Fine, think what you will. I can't change the way you think about me, nor would I want to. Sure, I'd like it if you were more friendly, sure, but I'd rather it be genuine than forced..." Batilde replied, biting her own lip lightly.

"I know loneliness when I see it, madame. Sure, I have things left to lose... So what? Does that mean that my parents were there for me at all when I was young? Fuck no. They were busy with their jobs, leaving me in the care of other people whom I barely had a connection with! I knew my parents! They only raised me so that I could one day take the family fortune and company onward once my father retires! You think I'm content with that? Being forced into a life I never wanted to be a part of? Do you really think my life's been all sunshine and rainbows just because I'm rich? Is that it?! Sure, I have probably not lead as bad of a life as you have, but please, don't just push people away like they're vermin! Humans need eachother... What could be so god damn bad about letting someone else in, if only a little bit, huh? You wanna know why I want to be friends with you? Because I get a sense of familiarity with you, in a weird way... We're both outcasts, in one way or another. Me being french and rich at that has it's own slew of problems I try to avoid every single day. I don't fit in. And I never will." Batilde looked at Ritsuko with a frown, being dangerously close to slapping the woman right across the face, but she didn't... She had to show restraint. In a situation like this, violence was never the answer... But she could only keep it cool for so long.


*SMACK*

Batilde had actually given Ritsuko a slap right across the face. Not paticularly forceful or anything, but enough for it to startle her. "Don't pretend like you know me... My life's been lonely. Until recently, I've been raised within the confines of a french mansion... My parents raised me without outside interference, since they were afraid that letting me outside would jeapordize my chances of taking over his company. So no, I have been alone. No friends. No public school... just me, my family, which I barely ever saw, and the housekeepers... who I grew more attached to than my god damn mother. Sure, you may have had it worse, but don't go assuming that my life's been a cakewalk, because it fucking hasn't." Her eyes locked with Ritsuko's. "If this is how it's gonna be... then go ahead. Slap me back. I shouldn't have raised my hand against you... But you have to understand... self-loathing isn't going to get you anywhere, madame... and no matter what ou say, I'm not here to give you any pity. I'm just here, looking for someone that could potentially understand me... and help me grow. I... I don't want the life my parents have set up for me."

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:16 am

The girl was persistent, so much different from herself. Even through the insults and venom Ritsuko had spat in her face she persevered for... what? A foreign concept to her, the antagonistic guitarist  she wasn't one to hold her ground in the face of some pointless confrontation. Running was safer, easier, and less complicated than getting involved. But still she persisted. Why. Was it principle? Was it a confrontational attitude? A twisted sense of kinship, a hero complex? Desperation? At some level Ritz knew. People fought for something, there was a reason they struggled and it was always important. It was usually an ideal, sometimes it was something precious that they wanted. In her own case it was self preservation but the fight was always worth the trouble to those who laid it out on the line and risked the damage. Either she had tread on one of her values she felt the prideful need to defend or there was something more at stake, something that warranted such a resolve. But Ritsuko was very different indeed. To her, this very situation was threatening, something to flee from and keep her distance. People were dangerous because they lacked understanding. They didn't realize how much they could hurt others even with good intentions. She was aware of how toxic she could be, but only because it was the best way to remove herself from people and what kind of pain they could bring. Because the closer they were, the more easily she could hurt them or be hurt herself. So the loner responded to Batilde's genuine attempts at a human relationship the only way she knew how: more ichor.

Ritz allowed the spite to take hold and drive herself, filling herself with the stubborn contempt at how what she was doing wasn't working, about how she couldn't step away from all this. Her sobs slowed and then halted, replaced by unsteady breathing as the younger lass approached. And as she would go to explain her situation and lay herself for her fellow outcast to see, Ritsuko would attempt to talk over her into what devolved into a small shouting match. She wouldn't have any of it, not a single word of it.
"You don't know a goddamn thing! You can't even comprehend what a whiny little bitch you are! Daddy never loved me, is that it?! I could give a shit about your problem because you have no fucking problems! None! If you'd been through what I been through maybe you'd understand the shit that's coming out of your mouth! People are scum and I don't fuckin' need'em! You don't get it, you won't get it, and you should-!"

*SMACK*

The infuriating guitarist's hoarse rant came to a sudden stop when the teen struck her across the face. It left her spellbound, mouth agape, as her mind began to slowly tick and realize exactly what had happened. Surprisingly enough the slap had the intended effect, Ritsuko shut her mouth, calmed down, and began to pay attention. She took in information as the girl spoke and pleaded before slowly turning her head toward her... and grabbing her sharply by the wrist that had dared to touch her. Unlike Batilde's transgression she was holding her arm tight enough to hurt as she clawed her nails into the fabric of her blouse. Ritz's eyes may have still been wet but they were blanked over, devoid of life and emotion much like her expression was. Her other hand had twitched toward the guitar on her back but never made it there. Old habits die hard. Meet violence with violence. But this wasn't a fight or a combat sim, she realized, and nothing further came of it. Her empty eyes reflected against the girl's for a few moments, her grip staying tight on her arm. Ritsuko's head tilted at the teen.
"Watch your language," she spoke eerily. Her voice was neutral, a far cry from the raw emotion she was communicating moments before. At once she let go of Batilde's arm as the light slowly began to file back into her eyes.

"I know what I'm doing..." stated the damaged soul softly and calmly, "...and you still have things to lose. Losing is an option. Think about it." She'd let those words sink in as she attempted to normalize her breathing. The adrenaline was still dumping into her veins, giving her a strange sort of prescience as she trembled lightly. As much as she pretended not to care, Ritz could see into the nature of her problem. It was a simple one, they normally always were, but people suffered from the things they weren't able to figure out. People were set in their ways and frames of mind, they took on fears and little simple details that never changed the bigger picture because change was frightening. From her outsider's perspective everything was easy. The girl had to lose. Not all losses need to be negative, not all the time. But she didn't expect her to understand that. Not many people did. The tortured musician pulled her reflective lenses back over her eyes by the frame. She was done here. Anything else she could say would be glossed over or misunderstood. It would take time for the idea to form, she knew that. Change wouldn't happen over an hour, never did. She would need to keep an eye out for the French student in the future. It didn't sit well with her for this degree of ignorance to exist as unnecessary suffering, all of it was pointless. Wordlessly, she turned her back to her younger counterpart and once more began to leave, the breeze licking at her back.

These things take time, and either way it wouldn't be a bad thing to break off. Should she run into her again Ritz would have a point to prove, and if not? It was no longer her problem. Problems were a thing you could just leave if you wanted to. She'd demonstrate that.

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:52 pm


"Well, that's rich, coming from you." Batilde snorted back with a slight frown. She was slowly calming down, not even making any resistance when Ritsuko grabbed her arm. "I'm sure you do..." She'd reply coldly, looking into Ritsuko's eyes. At least she managed to get through to her... somewhat. It's the little victories that matters sometimes. "That I do... But I'm going to do my best to keep what little I have intact..." She took a deep breath, and gathered her thoughts before speaking one final time as she turned around and headed home. "Allow me to ask you why you're even here then...? If there's truly nothing left for you in this world, then why stay? Think about that. What really keeps you from just ending everything and just accepting the final sleep? Because if there's something that keeps you here, find it, and keep it close, and never lose sight of it. Be it a person or something else. Just... promise me that next time we meet, it's under better circumstances. Stay safe, okay?" She'd look back towards Ritsuko with a faint smile before she headed down the stairs towards town. It was about time she went on with her buissness.

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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:09 am

The irritable woman wasn't surprised at the girl's lack of understanding. That's not what she'd meant when she stated losing was an option. Not just something that could happen, not a tragedy to mourn, but a path to choose. She could choose to lose if she wanted to. It might even make things easier in the long run. Giving up and walking away from a shitty situation were two completely different things entirely, not many people considered that. What did subtly impress her was her level of patience. If Ritsuko had done to her what she'd just done, she'd have clocked that bitch in the jaw. She could tell she was getting on the rich girl's nerves bu she held back every single time. Impressive... but not always admirable. Some people deserved everything they got. Ritz had been asking for it, almost literally on account of how she didn't like people getting involved with her personal affairs. It was better to keep them at arm's length.

Though her last comment would strike a chord with the miserable wretch. She'd never stopped walking, long done with the conversation, but suicide was a touchy subject for her. The guitarist met the French lass's smile with a heated scowl. It nearly set her off again, which quite frankly wasn't difficult to achieve. Violent visions danced in front of her eyes of pulling black hair out by the handful. She already had a damn reason! Hate. Spite. Murder. Ritsuko wasn't going to let them get away with what they'd done to her. Everyone else could call her motives whatever they wanted. Revenge, misguided duty, perverted justice, it didn't matter to her. She'd never analyzed it, to her this was reality. It was a problem she was going to solve. So it really, really pissed her off when people assumed she was a liability they had to check on to keep an eye on like a damn toddler. And while the last comment had set her blood boiling, the very last sentence disarmed her.

"Just... promise me that next time we meet, it's under better circumstances. Stay safe, okay?"

The troublesome young lady wasn't sure exactly what about the words she said put her flame out. It could've been the pitiable persistence she'd shown that made her want to shake her head or the futile optimism, maybe the indignation that she didn't want anyone to care. It was probably how much she reminded her of someone else for a second, but the punk didn't want to deal with any of that. She sneered and continued on her way.
"Tch, shut up. Dumb bitch..." she muttered to herself as she stepped away. Strangers trying to bullrush themselves into her life wasn't warranted and certainly wasn't appreciated. If people cared it meant that they could be let down and somehow it'd be her fault. The thought made her want to destroy something, but the only socially acceptable thing she could tear apart was herself. That was her business.

EXIT
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PostSubject: Re: The Sun's First Rays :: Morning [Zayasu Ritsuko]   Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:29 am

Batilde and Ritsuko's social link has ranked up!
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