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A Brief Reprise (Sharaku)
Posts : 1512
Join date : 2014-10-28
Age : 30
Location : In my own madness.
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sat Apr 09, 2016 12:08 am|| |
While it was true Oki was not injured from the battle itself in any physical way, the fact remained that ever since arriving back home the being had not allowed itself to rest. The stiffness had started to settle in a day or so back and only got worse the more it stayed active. When it was knocked out mentally from the battle, the body took advantage of the brief moment it had been out and in turn had become too stiff to move. Thus it remained on the ground still watching Sharaku with a sleepy gaze.
“Mmm…” the being would pause as it struggled a bit to get its arms to work again and once functioning it would slid them so that they became a pillow for its head. Watching Sharaku from under dark bangs the creature would continued. “We might not have been pleased, but not surprised either. Sharaku does what Sharaku wants after all. Oki hardly thinks how we feel matters much in that,” the being would say in casual tones before blinking as it heard the last part of what was said. “Then were you gauging us?” it would ask as it closed its eyes in thought for a moment. It supposed the fight wasn’t random. Just like Sharaku staying around wasn’t random either. Still, the creature wondered what the other wanted with it still. After all, it had failed the test no? So what else was the other seeking outside of test results? Curious human.
“Hmph! No Oki did not do so well, but then again. We did not expect it to go well either. We knew there was a reason to be scared of you,” the creature would pause as its eyes reopened. A light smirk would cross its face as its tone of voice remained laid back and causal. ”You may be pretty and graceful, but even pretty things become infuriating when one cannot touch it. You kept defending and in a way taunting us. In the end, we ended up playing a bit dirty to get our way, so we take full responsibility for your pains just this once to make up for it,” the being said as its eyes narrowed with a light grin. The creature seemed to be more amused than upset by the scolding. However, it would become serious as it closed its eyes and gave the other a nod at his question.
“Our plan is simple: dig into the mess, find the source or sources of these problems, and get rid of them,” Oki would say before it paused once more to push itself on its elbows. “Yes. Oki is weak…and we are sure there will be things that will threaten to take us out and maybe even people at your level or higher. We are quite aware of the threat and more aware of it than we like to admit....but we cannot stop in our path. We will simply have to find new ways to get stronger and until then do what we can to keep out of trouble…This be a big task considering we are alone on this path, but then again…This is just like last time when we served goddess. We were alone on that path too and made it to the end by will power and faith in our own strength. We believe we can do it again if need be...” Oki would say as it trailed and became silent for a while as its eyes dropped to the ground. It would let a few minutes pass before blinking and speaking again, this time its words were soft and serious as it kept its eyes on the ground.
“Oki does not want to be erased nor do we want to be alone in this, however, we have no choice in the matter. Even if pathetic, foolish, or what have you, we won't go down just because some force tells us to submit. Not if we can still at least try to do something about it all. We will keep fighting...” Oki would trail off as it balled one of its hands that rested on the ground into a small fist of determination. It had to figure this out and survive for the sake of its own existence and for reality's existence also.
Posts : 3941
Join date : 2013-09-06
Age : 20
Location : In front of my computer
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sat Apr 09, 2016 11:48 am|| |
''Why? I thought people's feelings usually matter to them. Unless your expectations are really just that low.'' It wasn't even a big deal. He wasn't hurrying anywhere right now, so why would he have just walked away? That seemed rather rude, to be honest. Besides, what was the point of this fight, if he would just up and leave right after? It kind of didn't make much sense to him. ''Sort of. As I said before, I wanted to see what you can do.'' Why was the other asking? He had said what he was after back then, unless he remembered himself wrong.
His face would fall slightly. ''Scared? What did I do to look that way?'' Okay, he was strong, but it's not like he went out of his way to scare people unless it was completely necessary to assert some force. He did not like the idea of seeming threatening very much. What's appealing about being scary anyway? He would shrug lightly. ''Those who only care about winning won't always play fair. I can't quite complain, since it's a pointless wish to hope that no one will ever cheat on you.'' That's how it goes, no? If you can take advantage of something, why wouldn't you? Maybe some goody-two shoes kind of person wouldn't, but how many of those are actually involving themselves in this type of thing to begin with? ''And I kept defending precisely for the reason that I did not want to end it too fast. Can't see what someone is about if I happen to knock them out right away.'' In the end, he was proven right that going on offense would make it last that much less. Alas, he did not want to wait around until his head split in half from the loud noise. ''I had to, though. I have better hearing than most, and the noise just hurt. I don't quite plan to go deaf anytime soon.'' That would be a big problem.
He would frown lightly as he listened. ''You talk about paths, but what is it that you actually fight for? Before, and even now, you just stuck yourself to serving someone and carrying out their ideal or whatever they wanted of you. You say you believe your strength, but what do you even want to achieve by it? This is the second time you're holding onto basically being someone's pawn in the game. What about yourself?'' Frankly, he was a little confused. What did Oki want itself? Last time, it was all about that Angel's ideals. Now, it's adopting this new work without any ado. But life isn't only about following whatever is thrust in front of you, is it?
He would shift in his spot, his gaze turning towards the odd colored sky for a moment. ''There are always choices. If you believe in your will so much, then why limit yourself to only what you can see at the moment? You want to keep fighting, but once it is over...what then? What will you gain out of this struggle you call 'having no choice'?'', he'd inquire, his expression somewhat sad for the moment. Even after all that, he couldn't really tell what was the real point of this. To do what? Walk exactly where you're being pointed to?
Posts : 1512
Join date : 2014-10-28
Age : 30
Location : In my own madness.
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sat Apr 09, 2016 8:27 pm|| |
“Why?” the creature would repeat as it closed its eyes with a light sigh. “Because we ceased to care for so long, it has become habit to assume the world and others do not care too. Even with some form of purpose now, the habit is embedded deep. Might be a while before we can unlearn it fully.” Yeah. It had its purpose and while it had its own version of care at play, this did not change the fact that at the end of the day, Oki was still broken and twisted inside thanks to two years of neglect and negativity. The cracks were deep and would not go away instantly. It was these cracks that would twist its usual perception of the world, but even so it tried walking forward again...
“What Oki does…right…” the creature would say the words in an odd casual way that sounded like it was apologizing for the brief forgetfulness. Although its wording was very odd. Perhaps this was a sign of a mind that was not exactly stable at all the time or maybe it was Oki being Oki. Not exactly dangerous at the moment, but a thing nonetheless.
Anyway green eyes would reopen just in time to catch the expression on the other’s face. To the look the being would smile lightly.
“Remember two years back when we were chatting on the bridge and Oki mentioned you were a scary sort of cat? It was not a lie. It is not a look, but rather an energy. It is very faint and we think only our shadows understands or can read it. We think it happens when a shadow is around other shadows for a long time or keeps running into the same one. Or maybe it is beasts in general since this sensation only flared up for shadows and wild animals in the past. Anyway when we met you, the feeling flared up only after a few encounters. It's kind of like a gut feeling,” Oki would say with a light frown of thought. The being had a sense ability that allowed it to survive and avoid danger on it own, but when combined with its shadow the sense became sharper. From what it understood, its shadow could recognize beasts and knew which ones to hide from and which ones it could maul. When it came to people it typically did not read them, but Sharaku? It began fearing him a while back, but maybe that was because much like a beast, the shadow could taste the danger the man's shadow held. It was a curious case for sure, but for the moment Oki would push the subject aside as others moved to take its place.
“Well we weren’t looking to only win. Just survive. Desperation is an odd force. Couple that with agitation and you have something far worse than determination.” The deadly combination left you with a beast that could not be tamed or reason with. Determination could be broken, but a creature fighting to live didn’t go down until it was dead. That was the difference between the winner and the survivor…and unfortunately for itself, Oki fell on the latter end of the pond.
“Hmmm..” Oki would give the other a tired smile as it managed to push itself onto its knee and then finally into a sitting position. It would rub its head, taking note that its hat had fallen off. Eh? Where did it go? “I suppose that cannot be argued,” the creature would say as its eyes drifted across the area for a moment and then spotting its hat a bit behind it, it would let itself flop backwards as it reached for the item just slightly out of reach. The stretch felt good though so it would continue this for a bit before relaxing once more.
“We can understand lashing out, especially if hearing is that sensitive. Honestly, in that moment we weren’t thinking about the consequence of making you deaf. We kind of just wanted you to stop hopping around. Besides we were grasping at straws for a moment, so we did the one thing we hoped worked,” it would push itself slightly to grab the hat before it was sitting up again. It would clip its hat to its belt before it pull its legs towards it with one hand an scratched its cheek lightly with the other. “Problem is it worked too well.” Yeah a huge wave of ice to the face was not exactly what it was expecting….
As for that other question, the being would be silent for a moment as it played with a piece of it hair twirling it around its gloved finger a bit as it thought. What did it fight for?
“…We fight for an end…” Oki would begin. “Not an end of the world sort of thing though that has crossed our mind as tempting in some cases, but rather an end to this pick and choose sides. Yes, we played puppet back then, but we fought with the hope that maybe if at least one of the thousands of wishes were granted this nonsense would cease. Alas we were too late and now here we are again. Back at square one and being puppet. I want to stop the machine from crushing us, but to do that we have to be in the system to find and destroy the main problem from the inside out. It seems the most logical of solutions when trying to get rid of this issue of gods and goddesses that plague us,” the being said as it let its hand dropped to its leg.
“Our view is limited we must admit. We may not see all the doors and choices, but focus is the only way Oki knows how to approach a problem. You adapt as you move. It is the only course that works when alone. Does this mean run in blind? No, but it does mean that something will be lost along the way as you move forward. Doors will close and things become frustrating at times…however, in the end the job gets done. Shallow perhaps, but what else does one do than what they are already know? As for what is gained.. Rest. Though I am not sure what form it may take…I still want it...” the creature would trail off after that letting the other take those words as he saw them.
Posts : 3941
Join date : 2013-09-06
Age : 20
Location : In front of my computer
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sat Apr 09, 2016 10:10 pm|| |
He would tilt his head slightly. ''How...do you stop caring? I never quite understood how it's possible to not care at all.'' Sure, he has gone through his own hell a few times, but he never accomplished such a feat. He was capable of putting on a front, and turning away for a while, but it never felt very good in the end. At times, life is a complete pain but...it never applies to everything around you. No matter how bad things get, as long as you stay alive, it will change direction one day. The world isn't constant after all.
He would blink at the odd answer, but say nothing. He wasn't sure if he even understood it properly, so he figured it was best not to. Wasn't all that important anyway, for he had just been stating what he already said once before, and if Oki had no complaints, then it was...okay? He would frown lightly, looking down at his lap momentarily. ''So you say...but does that automatically make me scary? I'd think it depends on whether I want to use my power to harm or not. If I don't, what does it matter?'', he would shift a bit with a sigh. ''Besides, that's him, not me. We work together, but we're rather different when it comes to this kind of thing...'' If Oki was scared of his Shadow's vibes now, it could be glad it didn't meet him before they were bound together. In which case, fear would be very justified. He saw what the Shadow was capable of...
He would cross his arms with a somewhat dejected look. ''You make it sound like I was going to try and kill you, and you had to fight to survive. Besides, it isn't always about survival. You ought to actually live life, not just fret about not wanting to die.'' Oh yes, it was worse. But not really in a good way, in his opinion. Sure, there are those horrible times when you actually have to fight for survival but that's far and inbetween. Viewing fights in that manner on a daily basis....well, he'd call that somewhat pathetic. No offense. If you resort to that kind of outlook, what does it even say about your confidence? You don't always need to battle like your life is being threatened. The world is cruel, but not quite as much as that.
He would watch silently for a while, until Oki gave an elaboration on its tactics. The corner of his lips would twitch slightly. ''I didn't have to really stop even with that. But I kind of lost my temper for a moment.'' He didn't sound like he was very happy about having done that. Alas, he would have had to attack at one point anyway...he just didn't plan to do it that way.
As he listened to the answer, he would close his eyes for a moment, giving the other a sad frown before looking at it again. ''Isn't that...impossible? The world doesn't work on predictability and sure paths. We always have to pick and choose, even if it is as simple as deciding what to have for lunch each day. What would happen if we forced uniformity of any sort onto people? I'd say nothing good. Personally, I'd despise that. I don't want anyone or anything else dictating me what I should be doing with my life or how to live it. Which is why I never liked the idea Angels proposed. How is not wanting to be ruled by one single wish nonsensical? I don't understand that.'', he would shake his head lightly. ''I think...that trying to destroy the problem isn't always the best course of action...but I guess it's up to you as to how you approach whatever you see as an issue....'' Giving it a second thought, maybe there was a reason for this. There was a traitor, right? But question is, why did they betray the rest? Maybe, there's just something they want and this is their way of rebelling against not being able to get it. He could see an organization like that being a little restrictive, due to what their goal is and all. He could understand the desire to not want to do what you're told to after all. Not that causing destruction is acceptable, as that is rather childish...but maybe, there was a way to settle this in a more peaceful way...If you can learn what drives a person, you may also learn how to make them reconsider.
He would huff faintly. ''You and I are too different. I'd never be satisfied with a straightforward path and single focus. I'd rather open all the doors instead of allowing them to close in my face. To me, looking only in one direction is suffocating. There are too many 'what if's' to not consider them at all.'' Of course, he was capable of sticking to a route, but it would have to be one that he truly believed in. Even then, he wouldn't go and ignore side possibilities that arise. ''You say rest...but how? You joined them, right? Protecting worlds all the time doesn't sound like rest to me. Unless you plan to quit after this....'' Didn't seem right, though. If quitting was that easy, the traitor could have played around with that and found a different way, instead of going all evil on them like this. That, and he would assume that important groups like that didn't just let members discharge without an ado.
Posts : 1512
Join date : 2014-10-28
Age : 30
Location : In my own madness.
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:08 pm|| |
Oki would frown lightly as it released a sound that mimicked a purr rather than a hum. It would be silent for a moment as it thought how to explain that one. How did one stop caring?
“It is a mind trick that one grows over time. Tell yourself it doesn’t matter enough times and you actually start believing the lie and in turn, you ended burying the heart under thick layers of ice. The longer the ice builds the harder it is for one to come back to the surface. Two years enough for us to bury the heart to the point where we saw most things as pointless and so not worth it anymore... and honestly we might’ve gone further than that if things that were lost did not show up again…”
Oki would finish as it absent-mindedly studied the ground. That question was a complicated one to answer, even more so thanks to the process working differently for each that it grab ahold of. Still, Oki did its best to explain it to the other from the way the whole thing happened to itself. Did it make sense? It wasn’t sure, but that was how it understood the process when it reflected upon it.
In the end, Oki would shake the thought away as it looked up at the other just in time to catch the blink. Not exactly registering why the blink had occurred, the being would blink back in turn before it was looking away a bit as something shiny caught its eye; however, seeing said object was just a piece of glass, the being would look back at Sharaku as he spoke. When it was asked the question, it would "purr" once more.
“It depends on which half of us you ask. Our human side would agree. Usage does have a big play in things as far as fear goes; however, our shadow side says no it doesn’t matter. A stronger shadow is scary because that means we will be eaten. It makes the answer confusing. Cause it be both yes and no,” Oki would say as it held its hands before itself with its palms open. Its green eyes would gaze from one hand to the other as if there was some sort of choice it had to make; however, being unable to make up its mind, Oki would shake its head as it rested its hands on its knees. “We cannot agree, so we cannot answer that in the right fashion,” Oki would say giving Sharaku an apologetic look. It was unfortunate, but Oki was definitely not as separated from its own shadow as Sharaku was. No. They were meshed together in a fashion that truly made the creature seem mad. Two personalities that shared the same body and face. Both considering themselves one and the same….A complicated and frustrating mess if one didn’t know what to do with it. Hopefully, Sharaku would have patience with it.
In any case, the look would melt after a few minutes as the creature did its strange head tilt as it considered the words the other spoke.
“Then Sharaku would not eat us?” A peculiar question, but one that was asked out of curiosity rather than malice or fun. The creature truly wanted to know just what separated the human from the shadow. Was there really differences? Could a shadow and human share the same body and not end up a tangle mess such as itself? Questions, questions…but did they have answers?
“Neh?” Oki would blink at the other a few times as it gave him a somewhat confused look. “Oki was not supposed to see that as life and death even if it was a test? Then how was Oki supposed to fight back seriously?” It was seriously confused at the logic of the other. All its time of being a lab rat had taught it one thing- test did equal life or death. So naturally it thought in those terms and thus did not quite understand what the other meant. The confusion only deepened as it heard the next words.
“But Oki does live and breathe and normally do not worry much about death, but in battle we kind of need that worry not too die,” the being would pause burying its hands in its hands as it shook it head.
“What does Shaku do with these words?” would be the muffle cry from behind the fingers. The words were a bit distressed, but not in a bad way. Just in the sort way when someone becomes frustrated with a complex puzzle. Clearly, he and the creature were breed in different ways…
In any case, the fingers of Oki’s left hand would shift revealing one green eye that was wide as it studied the other.
“We be glad Shaku be not as evil as that,” the being said as it let its hands drop from its face as the lightest of smiles across its lips. Even if the attack was out of anger, Oki was glad the guy had enough control over himself to not massacre it or others when he did lose his cool. If the tables had been flipped, the creature wasn’t sure if it could do the same with its unstable nature…
“Hmmmmm…” Oki would let out a hum before laying down and rolling across the ground to where Sharaku was. It would end its roll within his space bubble as it rested on its back and looked up at him with bright green eyes. Apparently even after two years, Oki did not learn to keep its distance from things.
“Well, Deva was not about uniformity, but about love really. We don’t think fulfilling her wish would’ve ceased our ability to live how we wanted. We think, it might’ve erased all the hate that causes much of the world problems today. At least that is how we translated her words. It might’ve been wrong path, but it at least it sounded more reasonable than other Wishes we heard. We did not consider not playing by the rule, so that door did not open for us like it did you,” the being would say as it remained where it was for now. “Oho? What would you suggest doing with the problem then, if not crushing it?”
Oki would raise its eyebrows slightly with the question. While it had its own way of doing things that wasn’t going to change any time soon, it was still curious about the other doors this one could see. Who knew maybe the insight could help it find new ways to skin the cow so to speak.
To his next set of words, the creature would close its eyes for a moment. “Mmm. We are different, but we wonder.,..is it that really bad? Do we have to clash because of it or can we perhaps use those differences to solve the a puzzle efficiently?” the creature would reopen its eyes as it looked off to the side thinking about that one. Sure, Oki could bend easily and adapt, but could the other do the same? Would Sharaku be okay with the differences? It was hard to say. Just as the issue of rest was not an easy one to settle.
“See that is just it. We don’t know the how of the rest or when we will get there. We just know that at the end of all this that is where we end up: resting. As for the protecting world thing. No, I don’t throw my jobs away so easily. Not until they are absolutely done. This new job will be no different,” Oki would say its word a bit softer at the end. Yes, it did sign up to help the worlds; however, despite its focused ways it was no machine. If needed it could change its path no matter the price.
Posts : 3941
Join date : 2013-09-06
Age : 20
Location : In front of my computer
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:29 pm|| |
Sharaku would remain silent for a while, thinking over the matter before just giving up with a sigh. ‘’I wish it was as easy as that. I could never do that. I can’t make myself believe a lie for real. No matter what I’d do. I may be able to use ice as I see fit, but this is one thing I’d fail at….’’ For real. Likely, he’d just annoy himself eventually. Perhaps it was simply because he naturally dealt with such distress differently. He just let the pain happen and run its course, rather than truly attempting to shield it out by pretending none of it even matters. It would feel…wrong. And for as long as he didn’t honestly believe that it could work and be effective, he’d never be able to do it.
When getting an answer to his next question, he would stare for a bit, with a light frown. ‘’I don’t quite understand the point. Just because someone is stronger doesn’t immediately mean they will want to eat you. Those two aren’t one and the same in a lot of situations.’’ Sure, Shadows were different species, but even they could be smart? You could at least verify how viable your fear is first, not just stamp someone as scary based on what you perceive. He would huff. ‘’You’re odd. Why can’t you two come to an agreement? You do share the same body after all, so you have to stick to performing one course of action in the end anyway. It’s not very healthy to spend time on mental disagreements. If you two are truly one, then why do you clash over fairly important matters? The fight or flight instinct is one of the basic things. You either run or lash out because you feel scared, or you stay calm because you know it doesn’t have to be. You can’t quite do both at the same time.’’ He’d say something like that, you should be able to agree on with yourself. It’s not one where you can decide to just stick in the middle and not pick. You’re either scared, or you’re not. Of course, there’s a scale of how scared you can be, but even then, you have to know what you want first.
He’d mull over the weirdness momentarily, until Oki went and said something extremely odd again, which caught him off guard, actually making him pull a slightly disgusted face. ‘’Ew?’’ What even…’’Why in the world would I want to do that? I’m not some sort of cannibal, and I certainly do not want to find out how people taste. I can accept the taste of blood, but that’s about that. I definitely do not want to eat anyone.’’ He kind of figured where Oki was coming from..but no. Just no. He understood that Shadows would perhaps go and do that, and he was actually completely cool with that. Still, he himself wouldn’t. He would scratch at his cheek, trying to figure out how to deal with this. Hm. ‘’Look. I don’t have anything against Shadows eating people and whatnot, but I don’t see why should I do so as well. There are certain boundaries I’m not going to cross despite having a Shadow in me. Not when there is no need for that. He’s not going to force me to do things I don’t want to. We work together, but we are also equals.’’, he’d shake his head before giving Oki a slightly narrowed look.
‘’He and I are two different beings…
…but we are also the same.’’
He’d state, oddly enough both him and his Shadow speaking up at the latter half, their voices mixing together. And they would keep at it for a while, even adopting Oki’s way of speaking for the moment, whether it was intentionally for the amusement, or just a normal occurrence. To know, one would have to ask. ‘’You can’t really put us in the same box as you. Perhaps it is because we normally pick to fit in and act more on the human side. If one doesn’t really look like a Shadow, nor lives among them, then why not try to adapt to their current living situation?’’, he would give Oki a fanged smile.‘’We can easily act as one, but we prefer to still keep our lives separate to a degree, for it makes existence easier. People wouldn’t look kindly upon someone who goes and acts like a monster or lunatic and we already stand out enough without giving the extra vibe of being unstable and dangerous. You may be able to pull it off, but for us stepping out of the line may as well be a death wish.’’ Even if it was only because of how…obvious it was, compared to Oki who could just pretend that’s how it was, not arising any actual suspicion very easily. When they spoke together, one could tell that it was two voices basically talking literally at the same time if they paid attention. They were bound in a somewhat different way than Oki. Both as one, proven by the fact that they did not falter a single time, easily saying the same words without any delay…and as separate beings as well, for despite being in a general agreement with each other, they still showed differences when they each spoke for themselves (that being the most common occurrence for now). ‘’Are you still following? We can keep at this for however long you want us to. Let’s see who is more insane here.’’ Was he trying to taunt the other? Maybe so, but it would be up to Oki to make a decision where to move with this particular…talk.
Regardless of that, it would eventually die off, moving onto the issue of battles and survival. He would raise an eyebrow with a somewhat questioning look. ‘’No? What for? Do you go and kill people after testing them? I don’t see why would that be a normal course of action.’’ That just sounded…messed up. In a way, he could perhaps see some sort of lesson or punishment for failing at best, but no matter what, death was way too severe. ‘’As for how…did you never consider fighting as a game? Or maybe a sort of competition? It doesn’t only have to be a fight to the death. It can just be a friendly face off, or a play. There are many ways you can look at it, and if there’s some determination present, I don’t see the need to think about it as a possible death situation just to be able to fight seriously.’’ Something like a competition could be serious too, just in a slightly different way. Besides, when you’re not being desperate to ‘stay alive’, you can keep a clear head more easily, and make less reckless decisions. That can prove to be useful in times where you can’t afford to do something stupid.
‘’Hmm, do you really? If you know I won’t really try to kill you, whether I win or not, why would you need to worry about dying?’’, he would remark, shrugging lightly. To him, it made sense. Do not worry uselessly unless you truly can’t help it, or have an actual reason to do so. And really, what is the reason to worry about possible death when fighting someone you consider as an acquaintance? Oki trusted him enough to come after him and tell him information, but not enough to at least assume he wouldn’t want to just kill it? That’s a very odd way of thinking. He would snort in faint amusement. ‘’I’m saying them. And I’m simply curious why you worry so much about surviving, instead of enjoying what is. Are you afraid or death or simply not confident enough to be sure you can stay alive? Or is it something else?’’ Maybe he was just different when it came to dangerous situations. Sure, once in a while, the possibility of dying would pass through his mind during a tougher fight, but he kind of….didn’t draw on it all that much. He focused on the flow of the battle itself for the most part, rather than the future results of it.
He would tilt his head as he watched. ‘’What counts as evil in your opinion?’’ Well, to understand clearly, he would have to know that after all. Someone else may have called him evil for what he had done. Another person would shrug it off. It depended on the views of that particular person when it came to good vs. evil.
‘’….why do you do that?’’, he’d ask, referring to Oki’s strange habit of movement, on top of the fact that it did not ask how close it could come. He was more curious about the rolling though, as that was just…kind of out of place. They were basically on a street. Would doing that get you dirty even more easily? Plus, he has seen something similar back then during the talk with the old guy, so it wasn’t even the first time. He would scratch the back of his neck. ‘’I know it wasn’t at base. But it was still the concept of forcing one single worldview on everyone. Love is great, but you can’t love everyone and anyone. That would make love lose its meaning, because it would be the only thing to feel and everyone would take it for granted. Negative views can serve us well at times, even if pure hatred can be dangerous when in wrong hands.’’ Hey, you can’t like everyone. It’s normal to ‘hate’ a person for something they’ve done to you. The issue in that is…that some people take extreme actions to channel their hate. Perhaps all it’d take is teaching people how to deal with negative feelings more effectively. ‘’Figuring it out. Maybe there’s a way to get at it that doesn’t involve crushing. Maybe that traitor you search for simply wants something they aren’t allowed to have and is acting out as a result. If we can find out what makes them do this, maybe it wouldn’t need to actually get ugly.’’ Among other things.
‘’Maybe, maybe not.’’, he would shrug nonchalantly. ‘’I can’t tell right now. But everyone clashes once in a while, whether they are different or not, so it’s not like we can say it would be completely efficient regardless.’’ He would rather not pass a verdict on that yet. It wasn’t easy. Sometimes, he could tolerate differences rather easily. And sometimes they did happen to grate on his nerves greatly, mainly when one person kept doing something he disliked, and it just started to agitate him in general. It can be a problem if two people stand before an issue, wanting to solve it in very different ways and find that they cannot agree with each other at all. Would the two of them agree if it came down to an important decision? He couldn’t predict that.
He would give Oki a somewhat unreadable look. ‘’There’s no rest for the weary. I don’t think it’s possible to be able to truly rest for as long as you live. There will always be something calling for your attention. The only way out of that cycle is death, but I’m not sure that’s what you’d actually want.’’ What was he really trying to say was up to Oki to interpret. In any case, the way the other spoke about it, it actually made him think of dying. Saying things like ‘at the end of all this’, and such. Plus, rest could have a few meanings on its own.
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|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sun Apr 17, 2016 12:34 am|| |
“Perhaps that is because Sharaku is stronger than us in will power,” Oki would respond back in quiet tones as it green eyes drifted from the ground back up to the man. While Oki wasn’t the weakest person around, it had to admit burying the pain was much easier than facing it. It took a lot of work and time for the being to bring itself face-to-face with what tormented it. The demon waiting for it was always too strong for it to handle alone. It was indeed its own worse nightmare; however, that was a story for another time.
Oki would blink and tilt its head at the other’s frown. Its own expression was calm despite the rather odd situation at hand. “No? Then what does it mean if you are not food to the strong?” Oki would ask, its thought process clearly not the logical one a human would take. It was hard to say, but maybe the merging had done more damage upstairs than one could imagine. Or maybe spending two years in a life style where the rules were exactly kill or be killed and eaten were the rules did it. Whatever the case was, it was safe to assume the creature was broken in a fashion that warped how it viewed and understood the world. A problem? Maybe. It would depend on how one viewed its words and how said person handled Oki.
“Mmmmmm,” Oki would tilt back slightly as it let out the sound. “We mostly agree, but sometimes how we feel on subjects differ. We can analyze and not agree in an non-threatening situation; however, when push comes to shove we end up lining up. For example,” it rock forward so it was sitting again. “If we had to decide which to choose in a battle, then we would choose not to be afraid so much of Sharaku. Might seem odd, but despite fear we kind of like you and believes in the end that it be okay to trust you. If this were not the case, Oki would not open this subject to you.”
The creature would say as it closed eyes for a second with a light nod. Its way of thinking was very odd, but in the end when it truly mattered its shadow and itself were one. Sure in a situation where it didn’t feel threatened, they may seem disconnected and split...and perhaps in those spaces they were; however, it seemed the pair knew when to be separate and when to act as one. A strange thing, but that was simply how this dual-natured creature worked.
“Eh?” the creature would let out the sound as it gave Sharaku a confused look for one second as he made such strange faces at its words. It was not comprehending fully where this one was coming from or how cannibalism even had a part in this. Was it not the rule of the world to be killed or not be killed? And if you did get killed, was it not logical to eat rather than waste than kill? Was it wrong in its thinking?
Oki would scratch its head as it absorbed the words said. It was still a bit perplexed about the whole thing, but it tried to see it from a normal human stand point. It was a bit of a struggle considering its mind had been warped over time, but eventually it would simply nod. “We guess we understand…” the creature began, but then became still and quiet as the other narrowed his eyes and continued to speak.
What occurred next was quite odd and in turn would receive a strange reaction. It would start with a female voice that sounded tense and a bit distressed.
“This is weird,” she would say, but then the voice would shift back to Oki’s normal voice. “Yet fascinating.”
The female would respond again. “Perhaps I should stop him.” Green eyes would glare at Sharaku coldly, but just as quickly the expression would change to one of a child looking like it was about to become upset.
“But why? It is fun!” Oki’s voice would say sounding clearly upset before once again the expression changed to a serious one. A frown of disapproval would appear on the pale face as the female spoke once more. “He is mocking and taunting me.”
The expression would become blank as the creature looked up at the sky. “Is he really?” Oki’ voice would ask before the pair were becoming silent for a bit. The creature would lower its head once more and look over at Sharaku. Displeasure was in its eyes as it watched him silently for a moment. “…”
The time would tick on, leaving for the first time ever the shadow of Oki face-to-face with another. While it was true she feared the stronger shadow, she did not appreciate being taunted. Still…Oki did have a point, so she would consider the man before her a while longer…that was until Oki’s voice disrupted her thoughts.
“Well?” Oki would say causing the shadow to look to the side clearly put out. However, the end answer would be directed at Sharaku.
“I am not playing your damn games, so do whatever the hell you feel like doing. It’s not like I am your mother or something,” the shadow would say not really making eye contact with the other for a moment. She was clearly peeved; however, what came out of this would be left in the air for the time being.
In any case, the being would eventually shake its head knocking itself back to its original state of being right between the pair rather than letting one or the other of the personalities take over. As it did this, it would hear the question asked.
“We have never run test of our own. Typically, the test is run on us…and failure always meant death or something far worse than it. In turn, we expect that from tests, so forgive us if we sound rude, shocked, or naive in the matter. It is just what we know…” the being would say as it looked down at the ground as its mind sunk back into less pleasant thoughts of the past for a brief moment. It would eventually look up at Sharaku with an unreadable expression as it raised its eyebrows slightly.
“A game?” it would repeat before falling silent to think on that. After a moment it would shake its head at the other. “No. We were never given that door until now…and even with such a door open we cannot suddenly undo what we were conditioned to do. We are not sure if it can be undone; however, we can try the view and see what happens…”
Who knew maybe it could actually lighten up and not rely solely on instinct to survive a battle. It would probably be safer for itself and the other involved, but could it really learn such a skill? Hmmm…It didn’t know and probably wouldn’t know unless it actually applied the way to its life in some fashion. In any case, it was a thought that it would place on hold for now.
“We have live on the survive or die path so long we honestly could not see it any way outside of life or death. Yes, it may not make sense considering we know each other, but in battle that sort of logic does not apply to us. It is either killed or be killed…though we don’t think we could pull the trigger so to speak even if we did manage to beat you…Still it is a bit alarming when we analyze just how dangerous not being able to separate the method from play and an actual problem truly is. We don’t know how to change that way of thought though…We may be too deep to change….” Was it even possible to change the way one was conditioned to act? Could it really be changed 100% even if it did try looking at battles with the lenses of a game? Or would something linger behind? Would it revert back?
Again the many questions without answers came. The being would frown at the train of thoughts before it was closing its eyes a bit as it heard the next words.
“Afraid of death? No…” Oki would shake its head and reopen its eyes. “We are not afraid to die. In fact, we are more comfortable with it than most would assume. Even so we are not looking to just hand ourselves over to it so easily, so we fight to remain alive. Confidence honestly has nothing to do with that choice. It is simply a given. As to the problem itself…You can say we have unlearned living in that fashion and shelled up….A fear to live....because to live in that fashion would mean facing somethings we carry….and if those thing we carry were to surface again we do not know if we could handle them….” Oki would say as it looked away looking quite uncomfortable as it rubbed its left arm. If it were to live again, would it survive the hell that would be unleashed by taking that step?
The creature’s seriousness would not fade as another question was asked. If anything it became darker.
It was quiet for a few more seconds making it seem like it wouldn’t answer, but then it would speak.
“Evil is many things. Faces, people, objects. It all these things and more. However for us, evil is killing, but not in the literal sense,” Oki would let out a small sigh. “We told you before that when we failed a test death or something worse was the end result. It was not a lie. We….saw the end results of many tests ran. Saw what happened to the failures; however, when it came to us, we were not granted death. Instead, we were left to suffer in ways we do not know how to describe in words. Being killed slowly by the torture up here,” it would tap the side of its head briefly before letting its hand drop once more. “Evil is taking everything that makes a person themselves, crushing it, and reconstructing it for your own selfish desires,” the creature would give the other a hollowed look before blinking and looking away again. “Sharaku has a heart…so he is not evil…”
The being would say and then fall silent after that. Oki would remain unusually silent as it stared off to the side at the buildings around it. It seemed to be trying to find something it had lost and when it did finally found that something, it would shake off the foul mood and perform the roll. When it was questioned about said action, the being would blink.
“We felt like it and so did,” it would say in response. It wasn’t worried about being injured or getting dirty for that matter as it had lived in much worse conditions in its life time. It was used to a bit of dirt and grim and it wasn’t really harming anything either, so why not? The creature would grin sheepishly after a bit. “Besides rolling is easier than trying to get up and walk the distance at this point…" Yeah, it would be awkward trying to get up after this with stiff legs, but it would deal with that when it when it had to. In any case, the creature would leave the answer at that. If the other wanted the answers to his other curiosities when it came to the rest of Oki’s odd habits, he’d have to probe a bit more for answers. That strangeness aside, the being would stay where it was for now not moving unless shoved away or told to move.
A small frown of thought would come to its face as it considered what it heard. “Shaku doesn’t think humanity would find different values in the new society? Sure, love would be the center, but we don’t think it would consume humans fully like that. We don’t think they were trying to control us in such a restrictive fashion, but offering us various ways to build the future,” Oki would say before letting out a light hum. “Maybe we translated goddess's words wrong, but it didn’t seem that extreme back then…otherwise Oki does not think we would’ve fought so hard to protect it.”
The angels and what they offered was a complicated situation…even more so when the ideas presented were translated so differently. It made the being wonder if one idea could’ve actually won back then. In any case, the different view gave it something to think about for a bit until the subject of solving problems came up.
“What makes them tick…” the creature would mutter the words as it mulled over that option. It had never considered trying to get into something’s head and beat it that way. It was an interesting avenue, but….
“We would need clues to go that route. We can explore on the other side easily enough and thinking on it, if we can make an exit for self then we can probably make exit for others too if needed, but clues may be scattered on both sides. How do we approach that?” Oki would ask looking up at the other for an opinion. Maybe a plan could indeed make this easier. It was worth a try that was for sure and anything to help make this large task easier was welcomed. In any case, Oki left its mind open to other options for the time being; however, how that ended would be up to the other.
“Mmm. We suppose that makes sense,” Oki would say as it rested its hands on its stomach. It suppose one really couldn’t make a judgment call when it came to others and how well each got along with the other. The tide was always changing and with it the people in it. One never knew when that person they hated would become an ally and the vice versus...
Compatibility was a complex question for sure and it probably didn’t have a real answer to it. Still the creature had asked to see what the other had to say on the matter. While the answer could be called disappointing, for some reason the blunt logic was kind of comforting to Oki.The comfort would continue to linger even when the subject became a bit darker as Lady Death was brought into the picture.
“Then we suppose what we desire is unattainable then. While death is comforting thought at times, we are not looking to throw ourselves to it just yet, so we guess we will keep walking until we can figure out how to obtain the unattainable,” Oki would say as it gave the other a small smile. “Oki’s twisted light at the end of the tunnel. We find our own way to it without Lady Death’s help.”
Oki would leave the subject there, letting the other interpret the words as he wanted to. Its concept of rest…perhaps it was something only it understood.
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|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:27 pm|| |
Will power? Was that it? He would scratch at his cheek slightly. ‘’I never really thought of it that way, but maybe? I just prefer to own up to my own feelings, regardless of whether they are positive or negative. Trying to push them away never worked for me. I’d just get all around irritated towards everything if I don’t work things out as they come.’’ Definitely no good. He had gone that route before, and it never brought him anything pleasant. Well, he still did it at times, but only briefly, since you can’t always do whatever you want, whenever you want. Doing it like Oki though? He’d lose his mind for a completely different reason than starting to not care. Then again, he was already kind of used to dealing with negatively laced feelings, and he just saw no reason in attempting to postpone them like that. Typically, they’d come back eventually, and hit even harder than they would have originally. Was this connected to will power? Who knew, but it was a thought to possibly keep in mind.
…err. A lot of things? Just because someone was stronger, it did not have to meant they’d see you as food. Not everything in one’s path is food. It’s a choice, not a rule. He’d raise an eyebrow at Oki. ‘’Technically….it doesn’t have to mean anything? It’s not a rule that being stronger means everything else is food. Do you see people eating every animal weaker than them all the time they bump into one? I doubt that. It’s always a choice, and one can choose to not want to eat you regardless of the strength level comparison. It’s as simple as that. Stating that you’re automatically food for being weaker sounds like a rather pointless stereotype to me. It can happen, but more often than not, it won’t.’’ Sure, it happened among wild animals and whatnot, but it’s a little off to try to apply to to everyone universally. Humans generally weren’t like that, and some smarter Shadows or Demons didn’t have to live that way either. It could even be insulting to say it as a fact to someone that has never done such a thing.
So…’’What seems most odd here is when you change your statements around. When I originally asked, you said you can’t agree on an answer because you two think differently of the matter. Now you say you would actually be able to choose? Are you saying that a dangerous situation is the only time where you can make a temporary decision? That doesn’t sound very stable to me. Choices are important even when you aren’t being threatened, aren’t they?’’ He kind of understood, but he was also confused. So what exactly did Oki think then? One thing normally, and a different one in battle? How is one supposed to take that? And to be honest, he’d say outside of battle mattered much more. He wasn’t going to spend a lot of time fighting the other, and it held to no logic to him either way.
He wouldn’t comment to Oki’s short response there, even though he had a feeling the other didn’t actually understand all that much. Besides, the subject switched soon after, therefore he’d let it be.
He would remain silent as he watched the weird trade off, only giving the other a slightly fanged smile for the while he was stared at. He seemed to take a moment to think, before giving the two a laugh. ‘’…whoever said this is even a game? Who put a stick up your butt? I never tried to seriously mock you, and I’m not sure what being someone’s mother has to do with this. You’re obviously no fun though if you get upset at something that wasn’t even aimed that way.’’ This time, he was speaking normally, and he appeared to be decently amused, although also a little put off. What was this even? Someone must be pretty vain if they think he was doing this just to spite them in some way. He never addressed the Shadow directly, so he wasn’t sure what exactly got her so riled up all of a sudden.
Regardless of how that went though…
He would sigh faintly. ‘’Well, perhaps you need to start looking at things in a more open-minded way? Nothing is ever constant. What once was, doesn’t have to always be the same. Situations and responses to them change all the time. If you expect a certain action to have the same result all the time, no matter what, you’re just making yourself walk in a circle. You need to consider that things don’t have to go according to what you once knew.’’ It may not be easy…but it was still sort of logical? If you for example burn your food several times, do you start thinking that it will always be so? That’s not extremely rational. That was not the best comparison, but still. Oki wasn’t with any scientists and whoever anymore. Why think every other person would view things same as them? That’s a little absurd. Precautions sure, but straight out believing that’s how it shall be? Sounds decently narrow minded, even for someone who went through bad stuff. Oki didn’t appear like it was actually mentally ill, so what was the issue there?
He would hum. ‘’Why? It’s not like they literally fiddled with your brain to change your response pattern, did they? If not, then it is all about you, your own mind and how willing you are to set a foot out of your comfort box. People have the capability to break habits, even unhealthy ones, so why do you think it may be impossible?’’ In many cases, it could be a bit of a struggle. He knew that, since he went through that in his own way. But impossible? Maybe believing that it’s nearly so is exactly what makes one unable to actually push through. Their own mind is the biggest obstacle and limitation.
‘’Well, I say everyone can change. Just like you were different before you became what you are now. This isn’t how you were born, right? Which in itself proves even big changes can be done when you set yourself out to do it.’’ It’s never too late unless you’re already dead and can’t make an attempt. Besides, better late than never, right? But if you just talk about how it’s unlikely instead of giving it your all….who knows how well will you succeed. Perhaps the other needed to start with its mentality, although that wasn’t easy either…
He would tilt his head with a faint frown. ‘’So you say you’re afraid to face yourself, basically? Isn’t keeping things in dangerous? Nothing can be kept caged forever. Do you want to be a slave to your own problems your entire life…? I can’t imagine that being much more comfortable than facing it, in the end.’’ At least, if you managed to face things and resolve them, it would be over and you wouldn’t have to despair anymore. When you do nothing, you’ll carry issues with you like extra baggage forever…and that could end up being a long while unless you die early.
Oddly enough, he didn’t seem to be too disturbed by the answer he got to his next question. Why would be anyone’s guess, and no matter what the reason was, it was probably good for the other. Having someone freak out on you is never a pleasant reaction to deal with, in any situation. He would only ask a simple question to all that. ‘’Who are you then?’’ What was actually on his mind was unclear at the moment, and it would be largely up to the other to figure out what the meaning of this question was. Answer or not, he would wave his hand. ‘’By that logic, almost no one is. There aren’t many people in the world that would willingly do that kind of work.’’ You’ll sooner see hired killers than that, really. Not a lot of people truly have the stomach for that kind of thing. Plus, you don’t know how many are doing it because they honestly enjoy the job. There are many reasons why one can end up getting involved in stuff….
Eh? ‘’Isn’t that uncomfortable?’’ As a matter of fact, he was already starting to have his issues with sitting on this ground, and while he had no problem with handling it, getting rid of the problem is always better, no? Either way, he’d stay where he was for now since standing up for no reason would be awkward in the middle of conversation. ‘’Well…it had been said that they were going to sort of rewrite people’s minds so that they all follow the chosen wish with without a question or protest. That alone makes me a little skeptical towards how non-restrictive their methods really were. Although, there is no real proof to either side at this point, so I digress.’’ After all, what is the point of change if half the world doesn’t agree and rebels right away? It only makes sense to make sure no one disobeys and immediately takes over their ideal, as unfair as it is in real application. So, he could believe they’d do something like that. On the other hand, the only way to know for sure would be to see it, which was impossible right now. He would probably not chance it though. ‘’But being as lenient as you say sounds too simple. The change would lose meaning if only a few people supported it, as leaving no restrictions would allow other people to decide to show it the finger and do what they want anyway, possibly nullifying any wish in the end.’’ Which would really make the whole competition pointless to begin with. On their own, humans would never settle on one straightforward ideal with no stragglers thinking otherwise.
He would shrug lightly. ‘’It was just a suggestion. I don’t really know. It only makes it harder when you’re the only one that can go in and out. I don’t plan to go to the other side unless I really must, or I have a way to get back out without having to rely on something that may not be available when it’s needed. You’re the one who can walk around as you please, so you could try to find out if there’s a different way of travel that someone not like you could use. That could make things easier to navigate.’’ He wasn’t going to risk getting stuck indefinitely just like that. In this one, Oki had the advantage. Was there really no other way of travel? If there was someone who could legitimately look for that answer, it was the person that already could travel freely.
‘’Unless you want to try and put it in a box, but I’m no expert in personality compatibility theories.’’ There surely were some, but he never cared much. Were they actually useful? Who knew, but he never had the reason to try to lean on something like that, really. He would huff. ‘’Good luck? The world stops for no one though, so such concepts are unpredictable.’’ You can never be sure you’re secure in what you’ve gained. Time goes on, and things happen. Always.
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|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Thu Apr 28, 2016 11:47 pm|| |
Oki would listen to what was said as green eyes drifted away from the man and towards the ground. Yes, this one was a lot braver and stronger than itself in many ways and perhaps that is why he stood on solid ground and Oki stood something less solid.
“Own up to our feelings…” it repeated. Heh. It wish it had more courage to do that, but if it were to turn right now and face those memories and negative emotions…It wondered would it be consumed by the beast there? Did it really want to know the answer?
“…” Oki would continue to look down as it messed with a string on its pant as it mulled over what was said. Maybe it was easier for Sharaku because he had already learned to face the problem long ago; however, Oki did not know how to do that yet. If it were to face itselt, the task would not be easy. Even so, the words gave it something to think on. The creature would remain silent unless poked further not really coming out of that strange zone until the idea of food and strength came into play. As this new topic got tossed around the creature would look back at the other as it listened.
“No point…. Not food…” Oki would say as it seem to space out for a bit as a gloved finger tapped its chin in thought. It would take a moment, but when the creature did respond, it was not Oki who answered, but rather its shadow.
“I see. I suppose the laws are different here then. How strange,” the shadow would mutter and then seeming to snap out of it Oki would blink at Sharaku. “Well…we suppose that makes sense too…” the creature would say and then nodding it would actually smile.
“Well then, we are glad Shaku chose not to eat us,” the creature would say its voice back to normal. Yeah…its warped perception of the world needed some work, but at least it seemed that even with this strange understanding they were making some form of progress in the logic department. At least it seemed the shadow and human side agreed that this logic was sound.
On the topic of logic, let’s analyze the non-logic of Oki’s brain.
“Both statements are fact. We don’t agree on many things, but most of the time they are trivial disagreements. When in danger we do focus more and sync up better; however...when it comes to outside choices it honestly just depends. Sometimes we can agree easily and sometimes we disagree and take some time to mull over it. While we agree to disagree on trivial matters, we understand that things like people and other choices outside of battle are just as important to make decisions on…We just be less graceful in execution. We think aloud and fight here and there, but in the end…we find what we think is the right answer. Our thought process is unstable, chaotic, and not at all logic or explainable…but when it matters we figure out an answer we can agree upon,” Oki would say as it reached up and scratched its head with a frown. It honestly could not explain its thought process without becoming more confusing because in the end it worked off a lot of contradiction and internal clashes that somehow managed to find a sound end when it counted.
Sure, it was a frustrating process for the other party because Oki did come off as confusing, but that was simply how the creature worked. It was a quirk that one simply had to be patient with lest they go mad trying to figure out its ways.
In any case, the conversation would continue on to more confusing topics that while Oki tried to understand them, it honestly didn’t know if it grasped the point in the right way. However, when said subjects were not revisited, the creature would let the thoughts go before participating in an exchange it honestly didn’t mean to happen. While Oki’s shadow was typically quiet, it seemed that the other’s demonstration rubbed it the wrong way and in turn knocked the creature out of its more innocent mood as a different personality took over it all together.
For a while, the pair would ignore the other as they argued amongst each other; however when they had ended the fight and the shadow took full control, it would see the smile given by the other, but only gave back a peeved glare.
“Mother was just the best comparison I could think of and whether you meant it or not, you did it anyway. You say I am no fun, but perhaps that is simply because you don’t know how to play with me. Typical. Since most don’t figure out the right method until it’s too late and no I won’t explain the right way. You have a brain so figure it out. As for sticks, they don’t belong in anyone’s ass and they are most certainly not in mine,” the shadow would tell him with a frown as green eyes speckled with gold watched him. Yes, the shadow side of Oki was not playful at all. In fact, she was quite serious, easily offended and threatened. She was a hot-head that could come off as a pain in the ass if one didn’t know how to meet her fiery temper. She hadn’t always been like this, but over time she had become quite bitter; however, how the other reacted was up to him, the shadow wasn’t going anywhere for the moment and it most certainly wasn’t bowing to whatever this one was throwing at it.
In any case as time ticked on the moment would pass as Oki returned to itself as the subject moved onto other things that made it think more.
“Hmmm…Perhaps you be right. Though we do not know how to work this way of thinking…Still, we will try and maybe things will change…maybe they break….We don’t know. We cannot see things so well when things go outside of the box we understand well,” Oki said as it rubbed the bridge of its nose slightly to release some pressure there. What was being said it understood to some degree, but suddenly changing? No. That would not happen, but it could at least try something new and see how it worked with its very strange way of thinking. Who knew maybe something useful could come out of it. At any rate, it was something else to ponder upon for another time.
Oki would rub its arm a bit uncomfortably as it was asked a question that required it to go back a little in the past. “They did nothing physical. More mental things that were worked deep in the brain. I think it may be impossible if the mind is too deep in…how do we put it?” it would pause looking for the right words. “Too deep in quicksand to be saved?” That was not the saying, but then again the saying wasn’t the point. The creature would shake its head and continue. “We are not sure if the damages already there can be patched up or not. We can try…but we are not sure that it can be erased. We feel somefink may linger. Thus impossible to fully fix,” Oki would tell the other with a light shrug. Maybe one could lie to themselves about something, but actually fix years of damaged to a pschye that was barely holding itself up anymore? Oki was not sure if it was too late for it or not. Could it really be saved from itself? ….It did not know the answer and at the moment did not have the strength to face it or the next topic.
It would flinch slightly at the questions as it frowned uncomfortably as its eyes looked away from Sharaku. “We…don’t want to be a slave to our issues, and yet we don’t know how to face what is there. We know it is unhealthy, but….” The creature would trail off not really sure what to say any more. It honestly didn’t want this baggage with it, but somewhere along the line its will to fight back was lost and now after resting at the feet of the monster so long not looking at it, Oki did not know how to pull itself from the hole anymore. Where did it even begin with that? How did one actually stand up to something that big?
“Hm?” the creature’s pondering would come to an end as green eyes would drift back to Sharaku as it heard the question. Who was it?
“Oki is whatever the world perceives it to be…at least on the outside. In reality, we are simply ourselves. A creature that exist in a state of internal chaos…” the creature would say to the other before falling silent. It would let the other translate that as he saw fit. It didn’t quite understand why the question had come about and so did not know how to properly answer the question. Still…at least with the answer given it was admitting it was a mess internally and had much to clean up if it truly wanted to be free of its demons….
Strange thoughts and even stranger moods aside, the subject would move to the topic of evil to which Oki would only hum as it thought about what was heard. “Perhaps they are not people I see then. Maybe it be demons wearing a human face. It is hard to tell these days…” Oki would say the words softly as it thought out loud as it rubbed its chin. Evil was a hard thing to define and yet the creature knew it when it was staring it dead in the face. Strange how something with so many faces had such a distinct scent and presence to it.
See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. Just roll and so too this topic would run its course before Oki changed its position and rolled over to Sharaku’s side. Staying in its resting position, it would blink up at the other at the question.
“No. We don’t feel anything,” Oki would tell him honestly. It really didn’t feel anything, even more so thanks to its now hidden condition. The only way it ever knew it was hurt or tired was when it actually collapsed or someone pointed the damage out. Even when it did see damage it didn’t register pain or discomfort. As for the ground, sure it understood that it was hard and maybe under normal circumstance uncomfortable, but for itself? It just felt pressure against its body, but nothing bothersome.
“Shaku experiences something different from being on the ground?” the question while on topic might seem quite strange…especially if the other didn’t know it lacked the ability to feel normally. Still, it asked the question anyway wondering what others really did experience when they were on the ground or made those strange face when struck by something unpleasant. However, whether the other decided to humor the creature or not, the creature would eventually hum as it considered the words being said by the other. It would let listen to the whole speech, mulling over different points and what if scenarios as it remained quiet for a while. Things could’ve gone many ways back then, but in the end….?
“Perhaps your conclusions are right and perhaps they are not. All we know is that the past what ifs are left up to speculation now considering in the end humanity chose to give the ideas presented the finger and go down a path vastly different from what was proposed,” Oki would say as it continued to let its hands rest on its stomach. It wondered…If an angel had succeeded would the world be like it was now? Would this new problem have even occurred? Would something else have taken its place? Didn’t really matter now did it? Still it was a curiosity that crept up here and there when the chaos within was calm.
Oki would give a light nod of understanding to the other. “We can see what we can find on our end about that and maybe figure out some other things too,” the being would say as it sat up with a bit of difficulty as the stiffness from earlier set in fully. It would have to add this new problem to its list of things to investigate in the future…if it even had time to do that that is….
The creature would ponder this for a bit more as it sat next to Shaku facing the opposite way the man did. However, it would let out a light snort of amusement at the next comment as it pulled one knee upward and lean forward to rest against it.
“Can you really box personalities?” it would ask not really expecting an answer from that. Sure boxes make the world much more orderly, but also less logical. No personalities and what they were compatible with were too varied for that. If they were to box said personalities, the boxes would be too weak to hold their energy.
Heh. What an amusing thought. Exploding boxes…He. Heh. Hehe. Hehehe.
What were talking about again?
Oh yeah! Got it.
“No you cannot secure anything, but that still doesn’t stop us from trying to get to a certain point in life. Not a full focus lest we miss something in the now, but at least it is something to work towards,” Oki would say to the other with a small smile on its face. Yeah the world had a way to toss ya about, but that wouldn’t stop the creature from believing in something better.
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|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sat Apr 30, 2016 5:01 pm|| |
He would watch Oki with a faint frown. ‘’Well, that may not be the best wording I could have used. Perhaps accepting them is better. What I mean is, that your feelings are a part of your identity as well, and if you deny them and push them away, can you really say you’re being yourself?’’ Technically, directly owning up to them may not be the best approach for everyone, although it could be helpful for those who can accomplish that. ‘’Why fight with what you feel, if it’s ‘you’ anyway? We all have a dark part of us that we don’t like, but it’s also what makes us more than two-dimensional objects.’’, he would look up at the sky in thought. ‘’Maybe that’s why I never really liked extreme optimists and those that preach holding onto positive emotions all the time…as nice as it is, even the negative is a part of your everyday life. It’s funny how so many people seek to make everything they can nice instead of understanding it for what it is, good and bad. Not that being depressed is good either, but still.’’ He could surely name a few people that had that extremely positive styled outlook on life. Is trying to cover up or avoid the negative actually useful? Maybe until something forces you to face it and then you don’t know what to do, because all you do is running away. And all you’re really running from is yourself.
At the topic of food, he would stay silent, simply observing what he saw and heard. He saw no point in responding to that further, since he was only getting half-decisive answers with nothing to bounce off of. ‘’I’m not even hungry anyway.’’ That was actually another point to this. If you currently don’t need any food, why eat only out of some principle? Then again, he didn’t know how other beings really worked in this department.
‘’I’m not really looking for logic here…’’, he would shake his head a bit. He kind of knew there was little to no chance he’d be getting some. Plus, not every kind of logic actually mattered to him. What he was getting at here wasn’t necessarily the explanation of how it worked, even if that could help the case. It was about the kind of effect it all had. ‘’I can live with the confusion, but what sort of bothers me is the way it comes across. Maybe it’s just me, but when I ask a question aimed at what someone thinks, I’d prefer an actual answer. Not a statement about how you can’t agree with yourself. It might be better for you to decide on your final choice before putting it out there, otherwise you’re kind of not answering clearly in the first place, possibly making others unsure of what your deal is in the end.’’, he would shrug slightly. ‘’It’s not the most comfortable to be put in a spot where you don’t really know what the other person will actually decide to go with once it matters. If all I really know is that it could turn out to be anything in the end, simply based on where your thought process takes you, how can I actually trust your future actions in any way? The way you put it sounds like your choices are completely clear only once it matters somehow, but I feel like that can be a bit too late at times….’’
Knowing what Oki was only made it sound worse, because it’s not just someone being flighty with possibly big decisions. Having two beings who take sweet time to agree on a decision seems naturally more volatile in the end. You hardly ever know what could come out of that…and what if it’s a life or death situation, and you need to rely on that kind of decision making process..? Sure, he did give people the benefit of the doubt quite a lot, but that didn’t change the fact that some set ups were simply uncomfortable from the get go.
For a moment, he would just stare at the other once he got that rebuttal, and then he’d just snort. ‘’Then perhaps you should try practicing what you preach. You say how I don’t know how to play with you, and want me to use my brain to figure you out. So how about you put some effort in return too, instead of boxing me based on your assumptions right off the bat? You can’t just call me out for bad approach towards you, and meanwhile get standoffish towards me as if you already knew the meaning of what I do or say without figuring out whether you’re correct first. Understanding is a two way street. If you can’t be open-minded, don’t tell others to be.’’ Despite the perhaps slightly tense atmosphere, he seemed to be taking it more so in stride, not extremely bothered just yet. He could be rather reactive himself, but it was generally half-half. At times he managed to simply redirect his temper into something more useful instead, while in other cases, he could turn out to be a pain to deal with. ‘’On another note, that comment about sticks was kind of the same as what you did with your mother one. I’m not being literal.’’ She seemed like a hard-ass, if he was to be honest. He wasn’t even obliged to consider such a ‘stuck up’ attitude, ordering him to use his brain to figure her out while putting him down in the same couple of sentences, as if she was the high and mighty one here by base. In lieu of that, he wasn’t even sure what got her so offended in the first place. He hadn’t been referring to her in the slightest with his original words, and she just inserted herself, getting upset over apparently being mocked. Defensive much..?
Hm. ‘’People and their boxes.’’, he would huff lightly, although he appeared to be more amused than anything else for the moment. ‘’What one doesn’t know, they can learn. After all, understanding comes only once you reach out to examine the unknown first.’’ He’d leave it at that though, as in the end it wasn’t his business as to what Oki did with its life. He was just observing in his own way, for it was unlikely the two of them would actually spend time together often.
He’d shift a bit, crossing his legs as he listened. ‘’Then perhaps fixing is not the right answer. At least not right away. If you can’t accept what is there as a part of you first, then you’ll likely fail at trying to get rid of it. It is your own mind, no? Damaged or not, in the end all you’re doing is hiding from yourself.’’ It’s not nice, but that’s how it is, no? ‘’Besides, if it was really all that impossibly horrible, wouldn’t you be unable to function in general? Yet you seem to not be mentally insane, which proves that you do have the strength to keep standing. You just need to figure out how to focus it in the right direction.’’ It comes down to how much you believe in yourself as well. The more you drown in doubts, the less likely that you will actually get down to dealing with anything. The longer you wait, the harder it can get after all.
‘’Hm….’’ With that said, he would opt to not continue the subject for the moment, until Oki said something that warranted a follow up from him. He could talk all he wanted to, but he wasn’t the one that needed to make some sort of decision, and it’s not like being pushy would solve anything. Plus, he was hardly in the mood to have an argument over something like this. What for? It would change nothing for either of them, only possibly making things worse.
Heh. ‘’I see….’’, he’d trail off simply, apparently content enough with the answer he was given. Whatever he was actually after was still unknown, unless Oki went and decided to prod about it. He certainly asked for a reason, but it wasn’t one he found important enough to clarify when not required to. It was a question as to what was really going through his head at times. ‘’Is seeing enough…?’’, he’d ask contemplatively, giving the other a thoughtful look. Whether the subject were humans or something masquerading as humans, what actually classifies something as evil in the first place? Actions perhaps, but even that can be taken from a few angles. Not everyone does what they actually want to do.
He would frown lightly. ‘’How can you not feel anything?’’ The way that sounded wasn’t right, and while he didn’t know what exactly was Oki referring to, something about that was off. He would blink at the question. ‘’Depends? The ground is hard, so it can even get painful after a longer while if you’re not careful. There isn’t an exact answer though, as it can be different based on circumstance.’’, he’d answer after a moment of thought as he reached out, attempting to poke the other in the side, unless he was stopped. He was slightly confused about this right now, but he’d wait and see if he’d get any sort of actual clarification.
‘’Not that it’s any surprising. Perhaps they had failed to consider what humans are really like. It was highly unlikely that one of them would actually succeed in the first place.’’ That would require enough people to follow one of them, and the willingness to fight everyone else to achieve an adopted goal. Sure, there were people capable of that, but there were more of those that would oppose such an approach. Humans as a whole couldn’t be easily fit into some box, so the Angels had gone on a journey that was almost bound to fail at some point. Then again, perhaps they didn’t truly mind in the end, as they simply left.
He would close his eyes in thought. ‘’Do what you will.’’ He wasn’t really going to try and meddle in that, for he couldn’t really follow Oki anyway. If something came out of that, nice, if not, he’d simply have to find a different way for himself. That’s how it always is. He would keep sitting as he was when the other moved, quiet until the next inquiry. With a light hum, he would turn his head, giving Oki a half-lidded look with a faint smirk. ‘’Yes and no. Personalities indeed very greatly, but there are ways to get an at least basic understanding of someone’s behavior. The way we act comes from our reaction to something we are being faced with. If you can figure out a person’s basic motivations, you can guess a lot about why they behave the way they do, and the way they approach situations.’’ Not completely, but there are things that you can actually assess if you know how to. ‘’After all, there’s a reason why psychology exists.’’ Don’t underestimate the power of human mind. If they can form so many personalities, who says they can’t figure them out as well?
He would be quiet for a moment, considering something before he gave a faint chuckle. ‘’Of course not…’’, he would watch the other, as if observing something. Ah, this talk. He supposed he was getting it now though, thanks to the way things went. Alas, that was for him to know, and for Oki to figure out, assuming it wanted to.
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|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Fri May 06, 2016 6:46 pm|| |
Green eyes would drift over to Sharaku as it took in the words it said. Well, he had a point, but…
“Yes. Some do paint the world with pretty paints and perhaps others like ourselves do fight with each ourselves more than we like to admit, but tell us. How do you accept the bad self after running for so long? How do you stop and face the beast?” Was it really not being itself by running from emotions?…Or was the act of running in fact a reflection of what it truly was underneath? It was a complex question that did not seem to have direct answers. Even so, Oki seemed to have its own form of understanding of what was being posed, but at the same time it was at a loss as to how it could actually face itself. It highly doubted that it could be explained, but then again that wasn’t the point of the question posed to begin with. No. It was looking for something else with its inquires. The real question was could Sharaku figure out what said something was?
Oki would let time unravel that mystery as its mind shifted a bit with the subject. Flipping briefly between its own personality and its shadows, it would mull over the topic of food taking note of the silence that was given until the very end. To the words spoken, the being would blink in a sleepy fashion as it watched him with a serious expression.
“To be devoured doesn’t necessarily mean to be eaten in the literal sense. It is a form of destruction yes, but sometimes the eating comes in the form of collecting pieces of the defeated and show casing them to the world. Being eaten means you cease to matter as the strong dominates the world. That is the basic rule of my world. Intelligent or not, the strong always remain on top and the weak either perish or quietly submit to their fate of being on the bottom rung. Survival is the rule of nature that I thought applied to all species, but perhaps humans are more different than I first observed,” the shadow would say her voice calm and actually civil despite her moody air. Was she actually taking the time to understand a species different than her? And if so why? Did she just want answers? Or was this a sign of something else? It was hard to say and if she was poked on the matter she more than likely would not clarify.
Neh? Oki would blink at the other a few times before rubbing its head a bit. “We…” It paused, shook its head and tried again. “…I did not realize the impact that had upon a person or how that made them think about our..no myself….Try…I will try to fbe more aware of that, so confusion is lowered,” Oki managed to get the word out with some difficulty, showing that maybe underneath the agreement the pair had to use the royal we there was still a bit of the old Oki underneath. A sign that perhaps the true source of the problems it had was indeed itself. It had been running so long, it had unintentional buried what made it itself. A fact it had been in denial about for a long time until now. It was a hard fact to face and to be honest it wanted to shy away from the flaw, but…it could not if it wanted to fix itself. So despite the discomfort, it let the conversation continue with this ugly fact leering at it.
Discomfort would eventually go away as its shadow took over and started throw her moodiness around. It was enough to make a weaker person cry or maybe even become angry, but Sharaku?
A blank look, a low non-hostile growl, and a blink. For a moment, the shadow did not respond to the man as it simply considered him with gold speckled eyes.
“Oho. Should I?” The tone used was amused rather than snappy as the creature’s moodiness would take an unexpected shift and turn into something similar to pleasure? Yes. The creature did seem pleased, but why? Huh. Did she perhaps appreciate him stepping up to her? Hmm… perhaps the mystery would never be explained for just as suddenly as the shadow seemed pleased, the amusement would fade as it settled into a much more mellow mood.
“Mmm. Figures of speech. That is a strange name for such sarcasms and games,” she would say as she closed her eyes a bit thinking. Yeah…Oki’s shadow was an odd and unpredictable mess, but it seemed that under it all she could be reasoned with…if calmed that is. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as she seemed. Maybe…
Now where we? Oh yes. Boxes.
“Yup. Yup we have many boxes. We stack ‘em all over the place to keep sanity…Though Oki’s box be broken a bit methinks,” the creature would say with a hum before it considered the next set of words. “Perhaps Sharaku has a point. We cannot say, for we have yet to try anyting. Hrmm…”
While it was still uncertain what it would do along the way, it supposed it had to start its path somewhere. Who knows? Maybe trying would actually get it somewhere nicer. It wasn’t sure. Even less sure when forced to examine said thing that held it back.
“Well we suppose so…” Oki would say trailing off as it continued to hold its left arm in discomfort. It didn’t want to admit it, but the guy was right. It was kind of running from its own self a task which was ironically impossible to do. It just couldn’t face the pain. No….it was too weak to do that….and yet…
Green eyes would drift back to the other as he spoke on strength causing the creature to look off to the side once more. Did it really have this strength he spoke of? If so then why couldn’t it face its demons? …Was it really a matter of can’t anymore? The creature would stay quiet and simply absorb what had been said. It wasn’t offended or anything like that. No far from it. It just had a lot to think on at the moment. In any case, it seemed for the time being the creature would not go any further on this topic. Maybe it had settled that this was just something it had to sort out on its own.
“You see?” Oki repeated with a tilt of its head. “What were you seeking?” it asked quite curious about the odd question that started this whole leg of the conversation. Why had the question of who been posed and why when answered Sharaku was cryptic about the end result? Did he like being confusing or was there something else involved in this? Had it even asked the right question to get said answer? Curious, curious.
Oki would play with a piece of its hair absent-mindedly as it ponder the next question. “Sometimes it is and at others it is not. Many things get clouded the more complex the thing hidden is,” the creature would say its tones soft as it ponder the various classifications of evil and demons for a while longer. That was a complex subject with no direct answer considering like with many things it was left up to the perception of the one viewing it.
“Mmm. We don’t feel pain. We feel pressures or weakness when things are strong enough or even bad in a way. For example, I am laying on this ground, but the hardness is not hurting us. It’s just pressure that is not going to help us in the long run here, but that is beside the point. Same applies to if you were to cut us. We would not feel the pain associated with it like normal. It is another piece of Oki that is broken, we think,” the being said with a small frown. There wasn't really much else to say about that. It was simply what it was. It just didn’t feel in the normal sense of the word. Thus it found the answer given about the ground a bit fascinating. Huh, so some people would hurt after a bit while Oki simply had to worry about stiffness? Intere- Eh?
It would blink as it saw the poke coming, but didn’t move as it allowed the action to occur. It felt the pressure associated with the poke, but that was it; however, this trivial matter was far from its mind as it looked to the spot that had been poked. Was it injured or something? It didn’t see anything that suggested such a thing, so….what was the poke for? Oki would look back at the other giving him a questioning look. It didn’t quite understand what had just happened there.
“Perhaps not. It is hard to say without being able to ask one, but maybe being unanswered is best in this case,” Oki would say as it watched the clouds for a bit.
When it came to the angels, there were a lot of what ifs left behind. What ifs that were probably left best for the imagination to play with rather than gain any form of true answers from. What if the truth was a lot worse than they were even thinking? Heh.. Another what if.
“Heh,” the creature would begin as it struggled to get into a sitting position. “We didn’t need your permission for that.” Oki would get into a sitting position with a light huff from the struggle before it looked over at the other with a small grin. It was poking the other lightly with its words, but in the end the creature would look into the matter. After all...it wasn’t just for Sharaku’s sake. If they were going to figure this mess out, then it would be kind of nice if everyone could move about both sides and not worry about getting stuck. On the other hand….that could make a mess. It would be kind beneficial to know the ends and outs of this travel...and also if there was anything else it needed to concern itself with.
“Oh? Figure out the ticking of the creature and you figure the creature out? Well what happens if what you think makes them tick is wrong? What if the ticking is out of sync? What if psychology fails?” The creature would rest its head on hand as it looked over at the other with a small smile. It wasn’t exactly shooting this idea down, but it had to wonder if the human mind could really be figured out like that. Sure some things could probably come from examination, but would that be enough to truly figure out said thing that was being examined?
For example, could he figure out what made Oki tick?
After Sharaku had spoken and started studying the creature, Oki would meet his gaze evenly before blinking as it shifted in its spot and leaned over toward the guy to give him a kiss on the cheek. Provided the guy didn’t do a palm block or something, the kiss would be a small one that held no romantic ties to it all. No.
This kiss was something different, but what that was Oki would let the other figure out if it was successful. Regardless of what happened, the creature would eventually lean away from the other observing him for a bit debating if it really wanted the answer to the other’s study of itself now or later. Hmmm….
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|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Sat May 07, 2016 6:05 pm|| |
Hm? And how was he supposed to know? The answer to that likely varied from person to person. Everyone had a strategy that worked for them better than for anyone else. It was tricky to say anything. What would work for him, may not work for Oki at all. Facing something, and even more so yourself, is an endeavor that is your own. It’s best to realize what works best yourself. Not that advice is bad, but....‘‘Hmph....‘‘, he would huff with a shake of his head. ‘’Who am I to say? You and me are different people, and we also deal with things differently.’’, he would chuckle faintly, before raising one hand and pointing at Oki. ‘’The one who has to figure out the answer to that is you. Only you can know how to face yourself. You can have others support you, sure, but in the end, not one can truly tell you what to do. You have to look inside yourself for the solution. What is it that makes you keep denying parts of yourself?’’ You can get some reassurance from outside sources perhaps, but having them somehow figure it out for you is a cop out, just like avoiding it. If you want to truly find your peace, you have to do it with your own strength. That’s always the best way to do it.
He would raise an eyebrow at the impromptu explanation. ‘’Yes and no. Humans do want to survive. That is a given. But they also keep moral standards, aside from a few exceptions that don’t care. What you speak of is a system of living that is possible, but it’s not really how most people have chosen to operate. You can be strong without making such a show of it and basically bullying others just because they’re weaker than you.’’, he would shrug lightly. ‘’Besides, I personally think that’s a cowardly way of living. Why completely stomp over the other person? Are you so afraid of not being the top that you have to go that far to prove yourself? If you have to assert yourself that much, then you’re just too scared of being defeated by someone. In my opinion, at least.’’ Sure, there were cases where you had to do away with someone, because leaving them be would pose a high risk of future danger, but in everyday situations, it felt like a rather pointless measure. Even more pointless when it was someone you knew that was against you. So what if one is a bit weaker than the other? That doesn’t make them prey by base.
Ehm…? That was not what he expected out of this. ‘’If you say so. Although, I don’t particularly care about the way you speak. It’s about the way you present your intentions at times. That’s what matters the most. I can’t care less about pronouns. As long as you think it’s best for you, go ahead. Unless start referring to yourself as some inanimate object, it’s not necessarily a big deal.’’, he would tilt his head. ‘’I don’t really understand why you do that, but a simple switch like that isn’t hurting anyone in the end, I suppose.’’ Besides, he had no idea how that really worked anyway. Or how does one even start doing that. He could see reasons for doing it temporarily, but always? That was sort of odd, but to each their own.
Ah? Well, that apparently worked as a silencer of sorts. Maybe she was all bark and no bite then. Worked just fine with him. He would whistle as he watched the reaction, giving a smirk once he got the fairly simple reply. ‘’Well, are you up for it…?’’, he’d poke, making a ‘come here’ gesture with one of his hands. Most likely, he was just taunting, since it was doubtful that the two would stroll over there on command right now. Still, it was amusing enough to try and see what would happen. She was making it easy for him to play around.
‘’I like metaphors when they’re well placed. It is what it is, regardless of what name one uses for it.’’, he’d remark with a low hum, apparently thinking about something. Soon enough, he would turn his focus back on her with a thin smile. ‘’You’re a fox, yes…?’’, he’d ask, for reasons currently unknown. He surely had one, but at the moment, it was up in the air.
He would narrow his eyes slightly at the box talk, as if he was trying to figure something out. It would last only a moment however, before he gave it up. ‘’….how does that work? I do not understand. I’d probably go insane if I tried to put everything in boxes. ‘’ It made little sense to him. If you divide things into boxes, you’re just setting them in place without allowing them to move anywhere else. How do you make real progress that way? He would scratch at his cheek. ‘’Well, I’d just say don’t be gloomy about it before you try and see whether it works or not. It’s easier that way.’’ You can be skeptical, but if you put too much emphasis on how you think it will likely not be the best, or won’t work…can you actually expect it to? After all, if it’s something big, you have to put yourself into it, and being a downer already says you’re kind of doing the opposite.
Other than that, he would not say more for the time being. It wouldn’t do him any good to force the talk to keep going after all.
He would chuckle. ‘’Yes, I see.’’ He didn’t seem to be too inclined to explain himself further at the moment, even though he wasn’t trying to deny anything either. Simply put, he was remaining somewhere in the middle right now, both confirming the notion and not. ‘’I just wanted to understand something. That is all.’’, he’d state after a moment of thought about the given question. Vague as the answer was, he did give a truthful one. He had technically been looking for a clarification to something, and what he got was good enough. What did that mean? Who knows. ‘’That’s a given.’’, he’d state simply, letting that particular subject be.
He would give Oki a puzzled look at the whole no feeling explanation. ‘’I…wasn’t necessarily referring to pain here, but sure.’’, he would frown a bit. ‘’What about anything else though? It’s not like touch is only there to possibly harm you somehow. There can be a lot of meanings to it.’’ His tone was questioning, albeit mildly sad as well. Whatever he was thinking about wasn’t exactly making him happy, or so it seemed. Regardless, he would do nothing more in regards to it until he got some sort of a response. As for the poke, he would just shake his head, not giving a verbal answer to the look he got for it. Hm…
He would huff. ‘’You never know. Perhaps knowing more would help in this current situation as well. I do doubt it is directly associated, but there’s always something to be learned even from the past.’’ While imagination is nice, sometimes it is better to actually know, so you can utilize it somehow. Seeing as they had more unnatural occurrences coming up, he’d say it was the best to know as much as possible. It always helped when dealing with other things, even if it wasn’t exactly the same.
‘’No, you did not. I didn’t mean it that way.’’, he’d remark as he watched the other with a fairly calm expression. It would seem that for the particular moment, he wasn’t up for playing games. He wasn’t being defensive, no, but he wasn’t really humoring Oki either. As much as it was fun to fool around, the current situation was sadly a serious matter. Honestly, thinking about it could kill the mood pretty easily after a while. He really wished that it wouldn’t be like this, but what can one do…?
…eh? So many questions at once. Sharaku would blink a few times, unsure of how to even begin answering to this. ‘’Ahem, well, not figure out completely. Every individual has some specific quirks, but there are things that can be understood through this.’’ You can figure out a decent deal, but of course there would always be factors that remain hidden. Yet, even a partial evaluation can be helpful, no? ‘’If you’re wrong? Well, that can happen when you don’t get it all right away, but you can always try to reconsider once you have new information. No one is omnipotent after all. It can take a few tries to get something done without a flaw in judgment.’’ As great as doing it is…you can hardly be sure early on, so yes, missteps happen. But they do in everything you attempt, not just this. ‘’As for the sync…well, no one says one can’t account for that ahead of time. Not everything is clear cut after all.’’ Even the exceptions could be included in the mix. Not always, but hey. If you can go as far as figuring out something normal, it’s only a step further to understand something that is less so. He would hum. ‘’What do you consider a fail? Trying to figure out someone’s mind in any way is not an easy process to begin with after all. It may take time, unless one is really good at it and knows what to look for.’’, he would smirk thinly, before adding onto his train of thought. ‘’It’s a matter of being good at observation. If you can watch the clock tick and understand its pattern, why not try with something else? With some people, it is harder, but even living is a challenge of its own.’’ He was sure making odd comparisons right now. Was he trying to get at something…? Well, the answer to that would depend on how the other reacts.
He had been too busy with his thoughts to really react on time in the first place, thus there was no way he could have blocked that attempt. Would he have done it if he could? That was a question which would likely remain unanswered. Regardless, he would stay sitting still, his expression blank for a few moments, as he processed what just happened. ‘’….what?’’, he would inquire eventually, his tone laced with a hint of confusion. There was no way he could have expected that, and he never really saw Oki as the type of person to do this on spot. Well, not with him at least. At best, maybe in a different situation, but this was kind of out of the blue.
Posts : 1512
Join date : 2014-10-28
Age : 30
Location : In my own madness.
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) Wed May 11, 2016 9:50 pm|| |
“Mmm…” it was a light groan of discomfort moreso than anything that escape Oki as it heard the answer given. It kind of figured it was going to end up that way, but at the same time it was kind of hoping for some sort of guidance on how to even step out on the platform to board such a horror ridden boat. Was there really a right way to approach it? Everyone said one had to figure it out by themselves, but how? It was quite frustrate…huh?
The frown and thinking that had been caused by the statement earlier would cease for a moment as Oki focused on the question posed. What made it deny parts of itself.
“…We suppose we are afraid to see what is there and even more so now that we are actually considering trying to face it. We…don’t want to be crushed by it…Fail and become something much worse, then this sad state,” Oki would say as it gave the other a small frown. It wasn’t that it was trying to use Sharaku as a scapegoat for its own problems. Far from it to be honest, but even so that did not change the fact that this issue had made it much like a child quite lost in the chaos with nowhere to turn or any guiding light to show it the way out. It was scared of itself and alone in the mess…and maybe if this conversation had not come to this point the creature would still bare that uncontrollable hell in silence. However, Sharaku was asking questions that made it pause and reluctantly turn to face things that it was running from. The affair was…highly uncomfortable and yet….some part of Oki needed kind of needed something like this to occur.
Even though it asked odd questions and sought out help maybe what it really needed was someone standing on solid ground to stand firm and push back a little when it was falling apart. It was odd, but somehow the calm from the other gave it a bit more strength to stand....even if it still flounder around a bit. Regardless, the creature at least seemed to be slowly attempting to figure out its way, so it was perhaps a start.
“I have never questioned the way our particular kind work. The breed of shadow I come from has always been like this, so we do not know if it was fear or not that made the ones who were strong behave that way. I always saw it as pride and confidence and the fear part being fulfilled by the ones that lost or were weaker. While I do share a body with a human per se...I never took a moment to actually consider humans as nothing more than simple beings; however, you prove they are more complex and confusing than I first thought. You have all these rules that do not cross my kind’s mind. Your kind is very strange to us. Very strange indeed,” the shadow would say as she took in the words spoken as a contemplative look crossed her face. She honestly did not understand how humans worked and while the conversation here was shedding some light on the matter, at the end of the day her view would remain twisted to her own understanding and logic in some fashion, but even so. At least she was being slightly open-minded by at least considering a different view than her own. Maybe she could learn a bit and change. Who knew?
“I…” Oh screw it. That way of speaking required too much thinking. It would try again. “We were trying to be serious and more solid in our decision. We figured maybe it would come across better with the use of singular instead of plural, but it came off more awkard than we expected. We understand what you are getting at and like we said we will try to do better as far as making our answers more solid. Try not to think out loud as much or…what it is called? Baffling…no…babbling. Maybe that will help to make things clearer," the being said as it returned to its natural speech pattern. At least this time around it sound more sure of itself than before when it stumbled over words. As for that comment that followed. “Well we started talking to ourselves when we were alone and agreed that we was better to sum us up. So it stuck after a while,” Oki said to the other as it gave a light shrug. That was…really all that was to that issue.
Speaking of odd issues, just what did Sharaku think that he was doing now? He had managed to tame the beast in some fashion only for a second later taunt it with a challenge? Was he trying to make the shadow mad or was he simply testing his limits? It was hard to say, but whatever had caught the attention of the other. The shadow would glance at him with an unreadable expression before it would grin through Oki revealing sharp teeth within the pale mouth. From there the body would shift in its spot as it the creature scooted closer to the man watching him all a while.
“What if I am?” it would ask its voice quiet and yet not exactly hostile. While it was true Sharaku was sticking his hand in a fire so to speak, it seemed the shadow was trying to feel him out in her own way. Unlike Oki, the shadow did not exactly know the man outside of observations and now that he had caught her attention, she was quite curious as what he would do now. Maybe she liked his boldness. Who was to say? Regardless of wherever that went, the shadow’s fiery nature would cool slightly when the subject of metaphors and figure of speech came up.
“We never took them into consideration like that. We simply use them when no other description works for us,” she would say and then to the question, she would glance at the other. “A fox is a common animal. I am kitsune, a long distant cousin to the common fox, but vastly different,” the shadow would answer and then tilt its head. “And you? Do you have a natural form?”
It was an odd question, but the shadow figured that with the man would be able to figure out what she meant. After all, he had already proved himself adaptable, but how quick he was on his feet was still being tested. Regardless if the other humored her or not, the conversation would move on to boxes.
“Erm…” Oki would look up at the sky in thought as it tapped its chin with a gloved finger, trying to find a way to explain it. “We suppose it’s like placing real items in a box. You pick up things and place it in a box label it and then place in the attic in its own spot. Except we file thoughts instead. Some are better at it than other and Oki is so-so at it, right now, but it helps keeps us focus. Even if broken it keeps us from wandering to far….without boxes we think we would get nothing done. Too easily distracted from tasks we would get; however, we also suppose it depends on what works for a person. Some like boxes, others no like them. We kind of need them to make sense of upstairs…to a degree,” Oki said with a small shake of its head. If it weren’t for it keeping boxes, it would surely be mad at this point…and no one wanted that…
“Hmm. We suppose that is true,” Oki would begin before giving the other a nervous smile. “But we are not exactly going to be jumping for joy here. This stuff be a bit much all at once, but we are going to try and swallow it.” Well the beauty of that statement was at least it sounded calmer than before, so something was working here.
Hm? Oki would blink at the chuckle its head tilting slightly with the perplex look it gave the other when it received the short answer to its inquires. It wasn’t sure what all that meant and while it wanted to pry further for the time being it would let the curiosity drop. It wasn’t sure, but it was thinking that if it tried to dig further it would get nowhere and maybe this was one of those case where it was okay not to know everything. Sure the vagueness was bothersome, but Oki didn’t sense any deceit out of it, so maybe it was okay...? Maybe. It was hard to tell.
From there the creature would fall silent. A small nod was the only response the other would get when he responded back to another piece of the conversation. With such a simple answer, Oki understood that the subject matter was being dropped and so did not try to force the subject any further. As for the topic of pain…
Oki would blink a few times at the first set of words and then hearing the second, the creature would close its eyes as it finally understood what was being asked. “Mmm. Let us rephrase. We do not feel the sort of pains that harm the body on a physical level,” the being would say as it shifted in its position so that it was able to lean against Sharaku…if allowed that is. There was a high chance that he could push the creature away or react negatively, but unlike before where it was joy that had caused the creature to give the other a hug, this particular action if allowed had a different meaning. Whether or not the action was allowed, the creature would speak.
“We have emotions…as much as we try to block them out we feel them quite well daily. Sometimes we feel too much and at others just right. For example, this here. Being in space bubbles, hugging, and even act of leaning on you occassionally. When I do these things to you, I feel safe in a fashion. Safe and grounded," the creature would say in soft tones before moving to away slightly to observe the other. “Kind of like family with you…at least on my end that is how it feels.” The creature’s eyes would narrow slightly with the small smile it gave as after two years it let a bit of the pain come forward.
It was a lonely creature these days and while it did not seek pity, it had to admit having Sharaku here now was something that needed to happen. Even if they did not agree or butted heads. The meeting was a necessary step on whatever path it was heading down. In any case, the creature would let that subject run its course before focusing on another that came up.
To this other topic, Oki would let out a sigh of thought. “Mmm. Well, we like to dig so perhaps if we dig far enough we can find solutions to the issues at hand. I am not sure if the angels had anything to with now either or if they were just a thing that happened and pass at that particular moment in time. What I do know is things have seemingly gotten a lot more chaotic and confusing without them there. I sometimes wonder if they were perhaps barriers to certain things,” the creature would say as it pinched its chin lightly in thought. Did the angels have anything to do with the current mess? And if so what was the connection or meaning of that? Would it ever really know?
To the calm expression and simple words given back to its slight poke the creature would close its eyes with a faint smile. “Yeah we know,” it would say in soft calmly showing that despite the poke it was being serious about the situation. Yes, it played and grin, and maybe at times the simple act of smiling might make one think that Oki was far from serious; however, to make such assumptions would do no good. The creature always had a line between fun and trying to smile through something tough. The poke from earlier was simple one of the latter examples. Unfortunately, Sharaku was more stern and did not seem to take well to the poke, so Oki backed off for now as it fell quiet until the subject of ticks and people came up.
As Sharaku spoke the creature would take in the words as it leaned back on its hands with a light hum of thought. “Alright we can see that logic. We suppose we just never stopped to observe those sort of thing. We have the tendency to react and adapt to what is thrown at us in the moment rather than stay back and study the pieces presented. You pose an interesting view though we are not too sure how it really works. On the surface it seems not very practical, but maybe we miss the point,” Oki said and then blinking it would glance over at the other as he asked his question. “No it is not and I suppose there is three true fails. One: You fail due to simply quitting. Two: Your task drives you over the edge. And three: Miscalculation leads to death. Outside of that, I suppose you don’t fail as long as you get back up again and keep at it,” Oki would say and then tilting its head at that last part, it would blink once more.
“Hm? What you mean?” Oki would ask not quite following the comparisons that seemed to jump from one thing to another. What was up with that? Was he trying to confuse it or was he making a point? It was hard to say as the creature kept watching the guy in silence for a moment longer.
Things would remain quiet until Oki decided to kiss Sharaku on the cheek. The other didn’t react to it at first, but then slowly, but surely he would ask a simple question to which Oki would close its eyes as it leaned forward with a slight smile on its face.
“It is a way of saying thank you for putting up with us. You may not realize it, but this whole encounter has kind of helped us figure a few things out. It was the best way to we know how to express it the gratitude,” it would say softly before snorting lightly as it re-opened its eyes to roll them. “Yes. We probably should’ve warned you or something, so sorry about that,” the creature would say as it remained leaned forward, its head resting against its knees it had drawn up to itself as it let the other take the matter as he would.
|Subject: Re: A Brief Reprise (Sharaku) || |