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 A day of rocks [Sada]

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 2:13 pm

"No, the desire is always present. However, the reason for it always seems to change. Stronger, more relevant. Is it a valid answer to say I want it so i can have it? Because its something I don't have? Or...i want it for another purpose in my life? It's all of them, all of those forms of reasoning are true, with me I mean. " Sada would then shake his head. "But it in philosophy of destroying something initially, when its built back, is it weaker or stronger? Now don't get me wrong, that's not my only intention with power, but "Destruction" isn't as so clean cut. Even if there is one positive to hope for, it exist, in everything. "

Sada would then tell Sharaku what I want. "What I want is something that I can't obtain on my own. The power to deny equivalent exchange. With everything you have in life, you're forced to give something up in return. I want as much as I can take, everything i desire, hold dear, things or people... and I won't have to give up anything that matters for it. I need power to live my life the way I want, I might even need more than what you have if that's the case.

Sada would then smile at the greedy bastard remark, but listened to the rest of what Sharaku said. "It's human nature to crush the dreams of others in order to get to your own. Humans are despicable beings who would use anything and everything at their disposal to get what they want. However, just because it's morally wrong, doesn't mean its the wrong choice. the concept of morals.... what's considered "right", its only something that this world defined in the way that we acknowledge it as of now. What i believe is that the right choice isn't necessarily the good or bad choice, it's the best choice you can make for yourself. "




Your life is meaningless when you live for others. They will take everything until you have nothing left to give. "
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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 4:38 pm

Odd colored eyes would flicker, and Sharaku would just sit down tiredly. Heated converstions were so draining sometimes. And it wasn't as if he was even fighting for anything. He didn't do well with people that had an ego that was simply suffocating. It was painful to even listen to some of these things. Sure, he had enough will and determination to keep going when he needed to, but did it matter right now? He wasn't like Sada. He did not desire to own everything he could, and he had no tangible desire to own this conversation either, if it couldn't be beneficial in any way or form. It's just sad. Physically owning things does not always make them truly yours. You can't own people for example. Sure you can force them to stick to you, but unless they want it themselves...it's just shallow, and empty.

''Destruction can occasionally be used for a positive case. But more often than not, it is the exact opposite of that.''
People easily lost sight of what they were doing, and went too far. ''I can't follow what you say. A single human cannot own everything they choose to. You can never own someone else. If it is not their own will, then it's just akin to slavery. Selfishness is not an excuse for anything. If all you want to do is satisfy yourself with a power, then you don't even deserve it.'', he would frown lightly. ''Yes, humans can be extremely despicable. I know what they can do firsthand. And yet, someone claiming that is the very thing that makes me feel sick. So what if some people are? Doesn't mean everyone is like that. You can make a choice that is best for yourself...but what if by doing so, you take away someone else's chance to make their own? This statement means nothing if you are the only person truly getting that 'best' you speak of. For you are not the center of the universe.'', he would look to the side. ''Perhaps you just need to meet someone who would show you the other side of humanity.'' With that said, he would stand back up, even though his tone sounded weary.

''I find that interesting. So then, someone with a meaningless life could easily end you here and now. What do you think about that? Do I look weak just because I'm not self-centered?''

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 6:28 pm

Sada blinked twice after he realized that he didn't clarify something. "Oh, not own people. That;s actually not what i meant to say. When i said people, i meant in regards as to what mattered to me. If it so happened to be a person, it'll be something ill hold on to, regardless of what transpires. Or better yet, maybe i haven't found the right words for it yet. But owning people? Not interested...." Sada cared about his old team, as well as all of the members and the coach. There were people he cared about, people he was determined not to lose.

"So? How cold they be put in a situation when their chances are taken away? It doesn't take a supernatural gift to take away any chance or hope for soemone's future.  You just kill them, ending their lives an any kind of conventional way takes away any sort of future you have in this world, and if you don't exist in this world, you don't have a future. We cant protect or defend ourselves against that, the actions and feelings of illogical fools with a weapon and a chip on their shoulders. That's power isn't it? The power to take a life, all you need is the tools and the will, or even all you need is your will. There is no explanation for that either, right? I never said i was the center, but its a rat race to the top. It always is...."

Sada paused for an abnormal period of time when Sharaku said that he needed someone to show hint he other side of humanity. After a while, he spoke again. "Does a person even exist like that? If they did, i'm almost certain, its because of that philosophy that they already died. They died, and all they left behind is a sea of tears. " Sada would then look at Sharaku.

"You're weak because you refuse to use your power to act on your own desires. You consider yourself a normal human being,  and refuse to wish for anything more than what you see before you. You can end my life, sure, it's easy to do for someone like you. Whats to stop you? Wanted for murder? Can the police stop you? Can anyone? Maybe your idea of power is expressing the caution of using it since you have so much of it? Its bitter sweet, you can have a meaningless life with all of this ability, but you have it as gods failsafe to the world simply imploding on itself. If you had half the ambition as mine, you should desire more.... for yourself... and those who you consider worth something to you.
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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 7:17 pm

''That so. Well, I'd have ideas, but I'll leave you to figure it out...'' Of course you couldn't own people. There were plenty of ways to keep people you care about close to you. And they had little to do with holding any kind of power or the like. Perhaps it would be easier to find the right term if Sada looked at the matter from a different perspective than he keeps preaching this whole time.

Hm. ''Killing people for no serious reason is not a show of power itself. It's what I'd call abusing it. No matter what kind of power we're talking about. It could be supernatural, or it could be simply an expertise in wielding a gun. Someone who destroys or takes lives just because they want to is one that does not respect the basic right to live. And just because a bunch of people are foolish enough to do that, it means anyone can do whatever? Let's just all go out on each other. I wonder how would that kind of world look like after a while. I feel pity for this planet if that is how it ought to be.'' The only reason why is it a race, is because that's what humanity has turned it to be. But adapting and continuing that 'habit' does not make you any mightier. You are simply another sheep thinking you're actually being smart about it. No, you're only keeping the vicious cycle going. Is that not right? So many people think they are so great because they are taking a stand and getting what they want. While it may not be so at all. Perhaps they are only making things worse by being blinded with the vision of power and status of some sort. There's no easy answer. The one who steps down, and the one who ruthlessly takes charge could be equally as rotten at their core. He couldn't speak for everyone here, for no option was simply right or wrong. It was all shades of gray. You simply needed to find the way that fit the best. Both for you, and for society itself. You cannot neglect others for your own gain. For if you shoot everyone else down, your success will become meaningless. There will be no one that matters to see you at the top.

He would smile thinly at the prolonged pause. ''That's because you don't even believe someone like that could exist, isn't it? It's odd, no? You can so fully believe your own wishes, but you have no real hope for anything else. What if there are things outside of your own desires? Ever think of that?'' There was never only one road in life. He would huff lightly. ''Perhaps irrelevant, but I don't consider myself a normal human being. For I am not. I probably am not even fully human at this point. That changes nothing however. I do have my desires and dreams. Don't get me wrong. They simply don't involve being forceful, causing strife and things like killing. I don't wish any sort of harm upon others through my own actions. It does not mean I cannot, though. I have no desire to harm you right now, no matter what you say. But if you do something to get in my way directly, or hurt someone I care about for your own selfish gain, I will show you what a 'meaningless life' is truly capable of doing. You're quite naive to mistake a show of passiveness as a lack of ambition. My ambitions are simply too different from yours. I can understand your view on it, but I cannot be the same as you.'', he would smirk.

''Afterall, you are free to try and find your own place in this world. Don't cross me and I will not do anything. Impulsive desire is not my motto, alas I won't fight against it either. But I will tell you that there are people who wouldn't hesitate to oppose you directly much sooner than I. You won't have an easy time if you set out for your goals with the attitude you currently possess.''

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 7:49 pm

"Something outside of my own desires......." Good question, that was actually something that Sada never thought about before. It's the same reason why Sada was quiet once more. Was there anything more worth than his own desires? Was it his sport of choice? However, that within himself of his desires right? Was it his coach? The man had no real reason to ask Sada to be on the team and play for the school, but he did. Then again, Sada had no reason to accept either, but he did, and he ended up liking it. "heh..." Sada only ended up smiling in the end.

"You don't consider yourself as a human being and yet you choose to live like one? Such a choice is valid that you would rather live your life in mediocrity? I could care less about who you care about, and im sure the same is for you,. When ideals clash, people fight. Those that go over are the ones who will have their dreams realized over the other. Us clashing is fair, us fighting, one of us dying... its the same as war. If there is something that i truly desire in all of my heart, and you are either the same in wanting, or what i have to do gets in the way of that, you'll try to stop me right? It sounds like a fun game actually, it reminds me why else I want power. "


Sada would then smile to himself. A contradiction in itself, its to beat down those with power that abuse it. I enjoy the look on their face when subjected to the same cruelty they inflict on others, to know how they feel. Question is, what makes me so different? Thats simple, i don't desire your suffering or anyone, i only desire what can truly be mine, and ill see it in any way that i can. Sharaku right? I'll even go as far as to say that your ambition might even be equal to mine if you are so "content and docile".

Sada would then snap his fingers at the word "impulsive desire".""Impulsive desire, not sure why it sounds so.... fitting to.. explain what i feel... its like a need i can never satisfy. So maybe i do envy you in a way. but sure... come ... stop me... oppose me... such is your desire to stop me from realizing my own in fear of what i can do, would do, or might do. It is the same, you will crush my dream if you had to, and vice versa for me in the case of anyone else. But its clear you aren't human, how else could you grow to admire them so much when so many of them despise themselves?
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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 9:04 pm

Well, at least he got the guy thinking. That was a good sign. The rest, well, it was to be expected. ''I am still mostly human. I may not be one hundred percent anymore, but so be it. If I were to seek exactly my own 'kind', I'd probably be alone. Besides, I used to be normal like the rest years ago, so it isn't like I never belonged. And that's what. I'd rather a peaceful war if I have the choice. I don't care for fighting just because our opinions happen to clash. In case it ever becomes too severe and necessary, fine, I will defend what is my right, but until then it is not a huge concern of mine. Live and let live.'' He was not feisty enough to rush into a fight or deadly conflict right away, or anytime soon, really. He usually strived for alternative solutions. He was not a brute kind of fighter, despite wielding exactly the means to be just that.

Hmm? ''If you beat the abusers, you commit the same they did. My preference is to take a truce approach. All they need to do is realize they've done wrong yes? If they can regret their actions and stop, then I could forgive them. Life moves on, no violence needed. It may be hard to do, but at least no hands would get dirty unless it was inevitable.'', he would state raising his eyebrow slightly. ''I would not truly use those two words to describe myself, but I do have my own ambitions yes. I simply don't go announcing them like I'm meant to be the big boss already. That's all.'' He wasn't necessarily fully content. Nor was he docile. He just prefered a more laid-back approach when he could, but that did not make him docile.

He would laugh. ''Sorry to crush your views so fast, but I truly do not care for stopping you right now. I might if you somehow get in my way, or wrong me. But as of now, I am neutral. My 'desires' as you like to call them only extend to things that matter to me at a given time. You could call me whimsical if you want, but I will not go dream of defeating you when it holds no motivation for me as is.'' How many times he would have to repeat himself, hm? ''I am what I am. But fact remains, that humans themselves were the ones that made me into what I am now. I could despise them for what they've done to me. For ruining a good deal of my life. I really could. But I also know that not every human walking this earth is the same. And as long as good people exist, I will stand loyal to them.'' God, he felt like he was saying some superhero lines right now. He better not be becoming like Jack and whatnot....

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:44 pm

"A peaceful war? Can such a thing exist to begin with? The entire concept of war is armed conflict. You are armed with your power to wage war against anything that threatens your livelihood, or your desire of a chosen livelihood. Without war, there can be no peace. Violence gives birth to a new nation, for better or worse. There is nothing peaceful about it, and a peaceful war cant exist coherently, it only stands as a byproduct. "

Sada would then shake his head. "I think the professors at Azores said.... i was... the deterrent degenerate against other degenerates? In the case of "the necessary evil", im either seen as a hero, or ignored because i tend to pick off those worse than me simply by chance. Or maybe im the worst of them all, and they simply never saw me as a threat in they way they pictured it or imagined?" Sada would then shrug."You're a pretty nice guy, forgiveness...its the heaviest word in the English dictionary. As a matter of fact, you consider yourself human, and yet your sense of forgiveness, forgive me for amusing, is actually benevolent in a sense. As long as they can admit their mistakes and stop, they are worth redemption? No matter what they done? Is that what you believe? It's a path of godhood then, your power changed your way of thinking because if i am right, then your mindset is not the same as an actual human being.

Sada would then frown. "Your loyalty is wasted, you deserve better.
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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Thu Feb 18, 2016 9:09 am

''Violence also breeds more violence. It is a vicious circle. You attack someone, they have no choice but to fight back unless they choose to lay down and die. Anyone who gets in midst somehow has to fight too. The only way to combat violence like that is more violence. It just keeps going. Sure, someone could try to be a mediator, but the more largescale it gets, the less likely a peaceful success is. And finally, when someone actually wins, they'll only find out they have destroyed and damaged everything around them. And while some things you can restore, they will never be the same anymore. Nor can you say it would be for the better.'' There are ways to settle disputes without shedding blood and whatnot too. One just needs to look hard enough, no? Down at the core, humans are one race. Albeit different in terms of individualism, they are also the same at base. They simply need to find a way. Of course, they need to want it first.

He would shift in his spot. ''Necessary evil is such an odd term. Sometimes, there is a need for someone to instigate things for anything to move towards a solution or a goal, but it's not always a cause of evil. Perhaps some people actually like the notion of calling themselves evil. I wonder why.'' Then again, it could be appealing to stick out of the crowd and be unique. A lot of people sought recognition above all else. In this world, where there are billions of humans, and you are just one little sheep amongst them all. ''Well yes, forgiving someone is not an easy task. I don't give much thought to the English dictionary though, for it is not even my native language. I just speak it to get by. And...not necessarily. There are people who are beyond redemption, or also deserve some sort of punishment for what they've done. It varies between individuals. I just don't preach the 'Eye for eye' approach. I won't give them what they've done back, unless there is no other choice in the matter.'', he would chuckle slightly however. ''I was like this before I got any powers, really. Is it that hard to believe that not every human is focused on being hateful? Besides, the comparison doesn't even work. I do have a part of me that is inhuman. However, I'm pretty sure Shadows actually aim to eat and destroy people in most cases, so by rule, I should hate everyone.'' Not to say he did not get frustrated by people, but he would prefer to not use such strong words.

Ah? ''Mm? What is your idea of better then?'' He could at least find out, even if he was not likely to agree with the notion.

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Thu Feb 18, 2016 1:20 pm

Never be the same? The talks of someone who doesn't accept change or welcome it. Why would you want it to be the same as it is? The same as it always is? Is that a life worth living? A life of stagnation? It doesn't need to be the same, it simply cant get worse if we build it back again from the ground up. If it does, we only ignore the mistakes we made originally for it to fall in the first place. "

Sada then shook his head. "I don't consider myself anything of the sort. I'm me, I don't represent any sort of outer force outside my own wants and needs. The notion of good and evil is narrowing down the spectrum of human nature to black and white, when in fact, the gray area is where the majority of the population actually lives. It's an abnormal concept to begin with. " Sada doesn't do colorblind labels like that, it didn't describe him perfectly. "We can also look at it this way, the side of you can be so hateful that you choose to look at life from a different perspective. If you were to give into your true nature, whatever sort of nature a shadow is claimed to have, would things be the same? I actually think that the majority of your effort is living in the sense of normality, its the best you can do, and it's something so simple for other people to do because they don't have what you have, making it their only option."

Instead of giving Sharaku a direct answer, he only replied with a quote "We all accept the love that we deserve. Ever heard that line before? The perks of being a wallflower, watch it. If that applies to love, shouldn't it apply to life? If this is all you accept, my opinion doesn't matter. If you are inquiring to me for specifics, then even if you don't want to admit it, you agree with me.
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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Thu Feb 18, 2016 7:29 pm

Well no. The guy was taking his words way straightforwardly and at face value in this case. ''I was simply talking in relation of things being changed through violence. I don't despise change itself. I just think it can be done through other means as well, not just dangerous conflict which can cause more pain than pleasure in the end.'', he would tilt his head. ''If you destroy everything, what resources will you use to build it back again in a way that works better? You need to have enough left to even be able to start doing that. Violence and unrestrained conflict can rob you even of that sometimes. It's very easy to go too far once you give into the temptation.'' Wasn't it? It was certainly possible to assert force at times and do it right, but a change as big as Sada appeared to be looking for done by these means...? That just reeked of possible trouble.

''Yes, gray. That is true. But such is not really a justification for any particular behaviors either way.'' Just like being white or black doesn't mean something is better to do, really. You can be pink and not follow any kind of principle, whether it is thought as a norm or is something more original. He would snort. Wrong, in a sense. ''I believe the term true nature is wrong, because that is not what it is. If anything, being human is my true nature. It's more complicated than that. Me and the Shadow are one, and yet we are also two different beings. We are simply bound together and share a body, pretty much. We cooperate to live, but I am me, and he is himself in the end. That is why you previously thought I was speaking to myself. It's simply that me and my Shadow have separate conscience.'' He couldn't be what he is not. Him acting like a Shadow with no remorse is nigh impossible. He could take on some traits thanks to their connection, but that was that, unless he wanted to let Violet take over him. And he would not fancy that under normal circumstances. ''That's what. We are far from what you think we are. We don't seek to truly conform either, for we can't truly blend in with normal humans. This is not something a normal human wants to be. You have no idea what it even means to live like this.'', the Shadow would speak up this time, and it seemed Sharaku was content enough to let his companion speak for him in this case.

He would sneer lightly. ''Me being curious does not mean I agree with you. I just want to understand your point of view right now. Can't even try to agree with something I don't know enough about, can I? I'm not as hasty as that to jump at something. Also, maybe, maybe not. Love and life are not one and the same. Love is a part of life, but it is one that can also be omitted from life. You can try to connect them with a saying, but it may not be truly accurate.'' That was something he didn't intend to find out right now though. But he would keep inquiring all he wanted as long as Sada was willing to gloat about his goals and views. The more you know the better for you, afterall. It had nothing to do with agreement or disagreement at this point.

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Fri Feb 19, 2016 2:16 am

"Don't worry i'll leave the barebones for improvement if it was up to me. It's better to discard what's not needed, forcefully if necessary. " If it outlived its usefulness, you throw it away. It's the same as how companies treat the employees that worked for years, employees that are then discarded like unwanted pets. "Sounds like a bad deal, it's as if you are renting your body to someone who you wouldn't care for if they just up and disappeared the next day. If your true nature is human and your body is truly yours, why surrender it to the shadow? The fact that you consider it to have its own personality of the sort, it's as if it has just enough of a right to be here as you do, and yet it's a leech that uses you. Watch yourself, not everyone is content with sharing. If I was your shadow, I would of devoured you, and that body would have been mine. Why live life through the sidelines? "

Though, Sada was surprised when the shadow was talking, he even clapped in the end of the small speech. "Ventriloquism, impressive, but my point exactly. Is it as much as you allow him to do? Or did he do it without permission. Once that balance is tipped, what then?" Sada would then shrug in the end and walk towards the exit. "My point of view isn't something as easily understood, im sure you heard it more than enough times that you grown tired of it. But i found what i came for in this cave, a truth. Such a power exists, and now..i have to find it for myself....so you proved useful to talk to in the end. Perfect actually, it was exactly what i wanted. But i will see you again...
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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Fri Feb 19, 2016 8:14 am

Sharaku would just smile thinly. Somehow, he doubted how true that really was. People often say things, and then end up doing something else. You can state how you will do this and that, but once the time comes, and circumstances pile up...you'd be surprised how many break their words whether from feeling the pressure of obligation on them, or changing their mind once they get a real taste. Someone who displays such innate selfishness and want is very likely to slip up in the heat of action. It's a simple fact. Yet, it wasn't absolute, so he couldn't use that as a proper argument. He would content himself with staying mysteriously quiet on that one. Too much talking was actually worse in some cases.

''Ah no. You are a little mistaken on that. It is not that I don't care. Perhaps, at a time, I used not to. I'll admit that. But that was years ago. Existing like this is perhaps taxing, but I wouldn't change was I given the option. Believe it or not, the two of us are friends in a sense. I don't want either of us to dissapear. It's just fine as it is, even though I could come up with scenarios in which it would be better. I've handled this condition for over 7 years already. And I can keep living with it until I die. It is who I am now. Afterall, only I can decide my own identity.'', he would smile lightly. ''It wasn't by choice. Others forced me to be bound to a Shadow. Yet, it's not as bad anymore. All it takes is accepting it for what it is. Shadows are beings that come from negative energy and feed on it in most cases. I don't think it would be possible to properly bind a human and a Shadow if they did not share something in common. Something that makes them compatible. Thus, we can be at balance with each other. There's no need for someone to be a leech, really. We share our power with each other, and that is enough.'' That's how it was. And it's not like he would allow Violet to take advantage of him. They both knew their situation. They were as good as useless without one another in the end. A Shadow couldn't hide in the human world long, even when possesing a human body, for you'd need the character and appropriate behaviour as well. If only to pass.

He would snort at the clapping and whatnot, still leaving it to the Shadow to talk. ''I see. For a human you are really a bit too obsessive over the idea that someone needs to have the ultimate control. Sure, it is tempting for any being to want that. No denying that. But can you even understand any type of equality? Sometimes, it is more beneficial than trying to one up someone. I know what I can do and what my limits are. It is not an issue, boy.'' Many others wouldn't even let a Shadow speak in their presence, much less let one voice an opinion for them. When you look at it that way, he was much better off than what is likely to be the standard. And that's only talking about this specific circumstance.

Riiiight. He would give Sada an amused smile, to the point he was showing off his fangs. ''Do what you will, but you may come to regret it.'' Wouldn't that be an ironic end...?

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PostSubject: Re: A day of rocks [Sada]   Fri Feb 19, 2016 4:26 pm

A Bond Has grown Stronger

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