I feel like this is something necessary to write, as I’m tired of people telling me things about my character known as Rin Akinyi. I don’t know whether it’s the fact people think I rushed her development, abandoned her near the end of the plot for no reason, or for some other reason. None the less, this will be an in depth look into the developing psyche of the Passive Musician, my character for the Azores plot.
To begin, we should probably look at how Rin was at the beginning of her existence in the plot. She was happy, fun loving, and hungry to live life. She had recently left her neglecting family for a musical college where she found her lucky break and became an indie DJ. She was popular, she was loved by many, she was considered someone worthy of her title. However, she longed to be loved by her family. She wanted her parents to accept her, but she didn’t want the pressure and responsibility this wish entitled. But, this wish stopped her from fully enjoying her life as a DJ and her life with her new family.
All this aside, she kept this mind set until around she was awakened to her persona and forced into a world she was unaware of by Ananke. She was confused, scared, and unhappy. But she put a brave face on. She didn’t want to look weak at all compared to the veterans she was surrounded by. But she was weak. Her persona was not strong in the slightest compared to those around her. She was forced into a support position, one she didn’t want to have and one she hated. She felt weak, defenseless, and completely reliant on others. Something she hated with a passion. This caused her to hate herself, Ananke, and even her persona. This hate flustered and burned, causing her to blame everything on Ananke thus causing her personal vendetta. She hated the man and wanted him dead.
As we all know, Ananke wasn’t killed though. He was given a second chance at a new life due to Naomi’s Ultimate’s fusion skill. This caused her to watch as the one man she wanted to see dead for so long let go and released into a life he didn’t deserve. This caused her to hate Naomi even though she once thought her honorable. And this caused her to hate her partner, Rita, immensely as well. This hate built within her and caused her to finally seek revenge against the other angels.
Yes, now we’re getting to Rin’s relationship with Asha Vatishta, the angel of passiveness. Before we go further though, we need to look at Rin’s arcana. The Lovers arcana is said to be similar to the Hanged Man, a person unsure as to what path in life they wish to go down, split between two decisions. However, one thing the Lovers has that the Hanged Man doesn’t is deep rooted desire to serve a deity, faith, or passion and serve it purely. Rin had this trait within her, as seen in her devotion to her own happiness and her struggle to find the balance she needed.
Asha Vatishta was a symbol to the girl that maybe, just maybe, she could get a second chance at the event. That she’d be able to be stronger and prove to herself and others that she was a force to be reckoned with. She understood the passive nature of Asha’s wish, but she had a passion within her to see Asha’s wish fulfilled. However, she perverted it. From the very start, Rin’s wish wasn’t completely the wish Asha held. She wanted a chance to prove herself and to become strong. And with an angel’s wish in hand, and the ability to try and destroy the other angels to prove her worth, she walked forward in her first steps of descending into insanity.
Rin’s devotion to Asha was an estranged one. She was devoted to him like a vessel would be to their king. She saw him as a chance for people like her, weak people unsure of life, to finally prove that they were strong, devoted, and worth just as much as those successful and powerful in life. Her devotion to him became more of a reliance in time though. She relied on his presence within her to feel strong. She needed his power within her to function properly after a certain point. Her reliance on him became haphazard after the second battle with Ananke though, causing her to rely so much on his power within her that she was barely herself anymore. She was a shell of fake emotions and an unknown girl living within it.
It came to a point where Rin became deranged to the point of manipulating others to further her wish of feeling strong. She still wished to protect Asha at all costs, without his power she’d surely crumble after all. She brought Mae along and analyzed her with a series of questions, lying to her about the motives of Asha and her own wish. She needed someone strong to fight the other angels, someone who she could easily manipulate into doing her own biding. Mae, a cluster of emotions herself, was just perfect for Rin to use. A sad tale, but one Rin needed to enact in order to feel as if she wasn’t completely worthless.
Though, in bringing Mae to be blessed by Asha, the girls were confronted with the fact that he no longer existed within the world. He was gone and that fact, that one simple fact broke the girl in more ways than one. She couldn’t hear him, see him, or touch him. He was gone and all she could do was feel his presence within her. Her whole reason for existing right now was gone, and it drove her into insanity. Without her purpose to live, to feel strong again, she fell into despair. With despair brought depression, and depression brought anxiety, fear, and self-torment. She felt like an idiot, like this was her fault for not being strong enough to keep him here. (As a side note, this also expresses her yandere nature. She needed someone to feel strong, and she was willing to do anything to keep them there and by her side. This can also be seen briefly within her SL with Hyde.)
The girl was no longer Rin anymore at this point. All she was was despair, grief, torment, and hate. She couldn’t function properly and she needed someone to blame that wasn’t herself. And so she blamed Angel, the angel within the tower. She rushed to that tower as fast as she could, Mae accompanying her and seeing the girl slowly descend further and further into madness. The mere sight of Angel drove the girl into a rage, causing her to try and kill Angel. However, Mae stopped her before she could do anything and brought her back home.
Waking up, Rin realized she had been betrayed. She forgot that she tried to manipulate the girl and focused on that fact Mae was her friend. No friend would betray her trust like she did. She hated the girl.
Before we go further, it should be stated Rin doesn’t wish to blame herself for anything. She can’t mentally handle the thought of blaming her own weaknesses and shortcomings upon herself. These are all the faults of others to her. Earlier in the plot it was somewhat noticeable she tried to realize some things were her fault, mostly present within her SL with Oki. However, she never showed anyone this fault of hers and she never openly stated her dark hates.
And that practically sums Rin up. Someone who’s mental state was never stable to begin with, and only got worse as she was exposed to the power of persona. She couldn’t handle the glaring realization that she was weak. She was weak and she continued lying to herself that she wasn’t weak until Asha was taken away from her by the mother. When that happened, she died inside. She lost all will to live and exist. She fell so far into despair that she was not even remotely recognizable personality wise by those closest to her. Rin became the Reversed Lovers at this point. Unwilling to choose a path, devoted to a corrupt and perverted idea of a deity, and forever enable to allow herself to be happy.
It would take a miracle for Rin to return to her previous self. She was scarred emotionally by the event and there’s no way she can psychologically handle going back to the place where she lost her sanity. Her idea of Asha is corrupt, and to this day she follows a corrupted wish out of necessity to keep Asha alive within her. To go on further, the quotes within her final thread were pieces of the fact that she had changed and she had become a living corpse over her time in Azores. The sheer weight of her sins and wrong doings crushed her psyche and caused her to lose all recognition of her past self. She couldn’t go back to the life she lived. Not after sinning so horribly. She lives to punish herself for everything wrong she did and to continue living in false hopes that Asha would one day return and make her strong again. A false hope for a Reversed Lovers. And thus that is the end of the Passive Musician.
So, I hope this clears up Rin’s development as a character and why I won’t be playing her in part two. That is all and I hope you enjoyed reading Rin’s fall into pure and utter insanity. I may start doing this for more of my characters in the future. I enjoy looking at my character's development through the plot, so, who knows? Anyways, ta ta and have an amazing day!